hey everybody!

hello y'all. i'm checking in again at the library. i really really miss being online with y'all. i'll be sooooooo glad when i can get back on line to visit my favorite bloggers (and you know who you are *big grin & wink*

well. i did get hired at Jackson Park, but it didnt work out for me. i was on probation (not that one LOL) and i got sick. first i had chest pain, then following that was a bout of bronchitis, then my phone service is interrupted and finally *whew* of course y'all know my grandbaby is coming next month. so i have a lot on my plate here, which needed my full attention.

oh well. you cant say that i didn't try. so anyhoo, as Forrest Gump said, "that's all i have to say about that."

anyways, i hope you all are well, and if you're not, please take care of yourselves because there is only one YOU.

big hugs to all my Blogger friends

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will post here as i can xoxoxoxox

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Hello, hello hello to all my wonderful Blogger friends. i know it's been a while, and *sigh* unfortunately i dont have Internet access at home, but there's always the good old library *big cheesy grin*

thank you all soooooooo much for the wonderful comments on my being a first-time grandma. i look forward to it and by the way, my daughter's having a boy and from the looks of her, i think he's gonna be a biggun LOL

well the phlebotomy class didnt pan out, but that's okay. i hope to be working soon *yay for the looony lady LOL* i went on an interview at Jackson Park Hospital (those of y'all who are from Chicago know which one i'm talkin' bout - i hope LOOOL) and the nurse manager gave me a tour of where i'll be working....in the ICU! man, you can take the nurse out of the hospital but you cant take the hospital outta the nurse LOL. besides i was getting to the point of extreme boredom. and also i signed up with a nursing agency too, to make some money in the interim until i get that call from Jerkson, errrr, Jackson Park. i wont be making a lot, but that's cool. at least Medicaid is footing the bill for my Medicare premiums and my monthly check looks a whole lot better.

god, i have missed you guys SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!!!!!!! i feel kinda discombobulated without you all. hopefully once i start working, i can get back online again, hell, even if it's only dial-up, shit, i dont care LOL


i hope everybody's Turkey Day went well, and i wish to all of you health, happiness and prosperity in the New Year. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukha (sp?), Happy Kwanzaa, and peace blessings and much, much love.


here's a big ole hug from me to you
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everyone take care of yourselves and each other (yeah i know i stole it from Jerry Springer, so bite me LOL)

XOXOXOXOXOXOX to all! i will write again as i can.

hey again y'all

hey everyone...i'm still "out of order"as far as my home computer, but i just wanna let you guys know i'm okay and that i'm trying to get back in school for phlebotomy training. also........I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMA !!!!! *big wide grin*. my youngest has a bun in the oven and the due date is February 24.

as i can i will check in with you all. in the meantime, everyone take care...i really miss you all.

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hey all, i'm still here just disconnected

hey everybody... just checking in (at the Library for now) to let y'all know i'm okay. i'll check in as i can to Blogger so y'all will know i'm still here.



everybody take care.

"bloggus interruptus" is lurking and my bank account is shot to hell

hi everybody. Bloggus Interruptus is a-lurking, so if you dont see any posts you'll know why.

i'm waayyyy behind on this damn cable bill, as well as my cell bill and if the cell gets cut off, so be it. my checking account is ugly overdrawn because i've had to um, write a few "floaters" to try and keep my head above water, and those fees add up. but it's nobody's fault but mine.

i wish i had at least $500 to dump in the account to erase those overdrafts but i cant pull it out of the sky, so i'm hoping for a miracle.

*sigh* anyway, i'm a little down in the spirit today, and nearly dreading the third of next month because my direct deposit is gonna eat the overdrafts.


i brought this crap on myself, so i deserve to suffer the consequences.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all dads and single moms who are holdin' it down for your children.

though my beloved Dad is in Heaven with my mother, i will always love both of them til my dyin day.

also today marks the 19th anniversary of when my Mama died, but i think i'm going to be okay today. the bottom line is that i loved both my parents and if it had not been for them, i wouldnt be here with you guys.

so instead of being sad on this day, i rejoice because God gave me two parents who gave me love in their own special way, raised me to be the person i am, despite my faults and shortcomings, and kept me from the negative influences of the outside world as i grew up. i thank God for both of my parents, and, as i previously stated, i miss them very much, but i know that they are in the loving arms of the Creator, and that they are free from the illnesses that they suffered while here on Earth, and that they are back together again in Heaven.

so once again, to those dads out there and single moms - Happy Father's Day.

peace, blessings, strength, and much love to you all.

fighting to stay strong this weekend

this weekend is Father's Day, and i am fighting with everything within me to not fall apart. also on this day, 19 years ago, i lost my mother. so i'm trying my best to not cry, like i did last year, when i went to pieces, because my dad had just died 3 months prior.

i think about the times when i was a little girl and how my dad would sometimes take me to work with him, and i would play on the typewriters pretending to be a secretary. i remember going to him for a pair of shoes my mama wouldn't buy for me, and how he'd bring me my favorite ice cream, chocolate, and sometimes take me to the park where the swings were, and give me a big ole push where i felt like i was flying. was i a daddy's girl? yes, i was. i wanted to go everywhere Daddy went, and would sometimes cry when he'd leave for work. i think Mama was a tad jealous that i always wanted to be with Daddy, but that's how it was.

as i got older, Daddy and i became kinda distant. i dont know what happened, but it seemed once i hit puberty, me and Daddy and Mama were like strangers in the house together. i would go in my room, Mama would sleep on the couch, and when Daddy would come home, he'd go to the other bedroom. and that's the way it was for a long time.

as i began to show signs of womanhood (breasts and hips) Mama would make me cover myself up in my robe. i wasnt allowed to wear anything that would emphasize my developing body (we were Muslims, so go figure). there were times when Daddy would come in my room and ask me how i was doing in school, and i would tell him. but, for the most part, Daddy would sometimes work into the early morning hours at the newspaper plant, to make sure the paper got out on time.

anyways, to make a long story short, i still loved and respected my father. when he got angry with me, and whupped my ass, i remember him saying "i'm going to give you something to remember" and at 47 years of age, i aint forgotten them whuppin's. when i got pregnant at 19, i thought for sure my father was gonna kill me, because Mama already had told me that she was, but surprisingly enough, Daddy was actually very calm about it, and merely asked how was i going to deal with it, and so on. Mama, on the other hand, was none too happy about me getting knocked up, and let me know in no uncertain terms speaking fluent Cuss, and telling me that i was a disgrace to the religion and that i had disgraced her, and i remember her slapping the everlovin' shit outta me when i tried to stand up for myself. however, once i gave birth to my firstborn daughter, in February, 1979, she fell in love with my baby, and pretty much spoiled her rotten, even to the point of wanting to take her away from me, because she felt i was an unfit mother, and a slut.

what brought that on? well, it was on a Sunday and Mama was raising hell about me, saying that i didnt need to have a child because of whatever, and she called me names like stupid, and i was trying to feed my daughter, while she ranted and raved at me. then she said something that brought the anger that had been brewing in me to a scorching boil...she said she would find a way to take my baby from me, because i wasn't shit, and i was in her eyes, a slut and an unfit mother. why, oh why did she say that? before i knew it, i had jumped up outta my chair and had grabbed a steak knife and told her with every ounce of rage i had that she wasnt taking my child away from me, because i would kill her first.

(side note: my dad had moved to South Carolina around 1977, because he and my mother wasnt getting on well with one another)

my mother looked at me like i had grown a third eye and told me to put that knife down, and i told her HELL NO. YOU TRY AND TAKE MY BABY, YOU OLD BITCH (yes i said "bitch") AND I WILL KILL YOU!" yeah. i lost it but my anger had reached a very dangerous level, and i couldnt take it no more. i scooped my baby up in my arms and went to my room and slammed the door shut.

but i digress. in spite of everything, i loved both my parents, and was deeply hurt when i lost them. i miss both of them very much, and as i said, i'm fighting to stay strong this weekend.

i think i can make it.