sorry i havent written in a while. this past father's day was quite painful for me. as i mentioned in my previous post my dad died back in march, and i was truly devastated about losing him. when i got the news from his lady friend that he was dying, i cried and cried all that night...cried right down to the floor in a crumpled heap of tears. it felt like my heart had been ripped right outta my chest it hurt so much. i was listening to "Can Heaven Wait" by the now late Luther Vandross and it made me cry that much harder because in a way i was begging heaven to please wait until i got a chance to see him before God called him home. but unfortunately i didnt make it in time. he died March 1, 2005. again --- more tears. and i had to get down to South Carolina for the graveside service. thankfully that way had been made and i did make it. since then, i've had my moments where i cry off and on from time to time because i miss him so much. and as i said, this past Father's Day was a bit rough --- for one, my mother died in the same month on June 17, 1987, and then i just lost my father that prior March, so it was a double whammy emotionally for me. however, i did send Father's Day cards to Mama Claudia (his lady friend) to put on his grave, and of course i cried off and on that day while listening to Luther's "Dance With My Father." the lyrics were so poignant, and reminded me of when i was a little girl always running to my daddy much to my mama's chagrin.
now that Father's Day has come and gone, the pain of losing him isnt as bad as it was originally. i still have moments of sadness, but know he is not suffering anymore and him and my mama are back together again in Heaven. my mama truly loved my daddy and was heartbroken when he left her without warning. aside from the cancer that eventually took my mother's life, i truly believe she died from a broken heart because she loved my daddy so.
well. i dont have much to say in this post. stay tuned for periodic postings. peace. also please feel free to post your comments....they would be greatly appreciated.
1 comment:
"Dance With My Father" My father died when I was l5, I am now 53. Whenever I would hear that song - at a certain part, I couldn't hold it back any more and hysterical crying would start..Usually I would hear this out in public. Embarassing. Sorry world. It happened when my two sons, grandkids, etc. all together, out eating - never hearing this song and what happens. How do you explain it. Of course, everyone ignored me. Em - bar -ass- ing!
Started listening to it at home - over and over and over again until I wouldn't cry. Then several months later, went to a bar and got up for the first time and sang karaoche. First time ever. Of course, everyone ignored me - singing this in a bar. Who the fuck cares It served its purpose. Husband was so proud of me because I didn't cry. Did'nt know I had been practicing not crying. I invite you to read my blog. I hid everything a week ago except the Happy Birthday Father. I hid everything because I feel invisible. But a few days ago I brought back this one entry for my father because it's important to me. That's all. Click on aries52 to get to my site if you want. If not that's okay. Bye.
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