home from the hospital - no, not THAT one

i am sooooooo glad to be home. i was admitted into the hospital yesterday because of chest pain i had started having while at my medical doctor's appointment. my doc took me around to the ER and i had an EKG done and the nurse started an IV on me, and after that, i was admitted to the unit where i used to work, Telemetry.

they've moved to a different floor, which is larger, but the good thing is all the rooms are private. once i got to my room, i knew the drill from having to do it many times for new admissions - the nurse assistant took my vitals, brought me an "admission kit" water pitcher, cups, straws, Kleenex, a toothbrush, toothpaste, lotion, soap (what makes these hospitals think that patients can get thoroughly clean with such a little bitty assed bar of soap?), bath oil and a comb, two face cloths, two towels (like those little ass towels are gonna cover my big ass LOL) and a gown, and those little sock "slippers". then i had to fill out the admit form (i was half-asleep when the nurse came in), and then the docs on call came in and asked questions, but thanks to my nursing training and knowledge of medical terminology, i wrote out a detailed narrative of what had been going on with me. the doc was highly impressed with my knowledge and told me my notes were better than his *blushing*

also when i was brought into my room, they had a dinner tray waiting and as hungry as i was, i dove right into it. surprisingly, it was good. when i was finished eating, i sat up a while and read a magazine, then laid back on my bed and watched TV until i started getting extremely sleepy. i got up and turned off the lamp, closed my blinds and climbed into bed. no sooner than my head hit the pillow, the doc on night duty came in and was blathering on about the procedures i was to have in the morning, and so on. i nodded sleepily, and turned over and went back to sleep. the sleep interruptions didnt bother me because i knew the night shift had to draw labs and take vitals for change of shift. so when the NA came into my room i stuck my hand out for them to draw the blood and went back to sleep. and they were kind enough to give me some of my bedtime meds, so i was really zonked out.

this morning, the attending doc came in to remind me i had to take a stress test, and that the transporter would be in shortly to take me downstairs to Nuclear Medicine. the transporter came, and groggily i sat in the wheelchair with my bed blanket wrapped around me while he took me down. i was glad to have the blanket, because it was like a meat locker in the NucMed room - brrrrrr!

anyhoo, the tech had me lie down and place my hands up over my head and secured me to the table, and then the table started moving up to where this huge machine was. the machine was taking pictures of my heart, after being injected with some kind of radiological stuff thru my IV port, and for the most part i dozed. that was the first part of the stress test. the second part i was taken to the echo-stress room, and again, had to lie down while the nurse slapped a number of leads on me and hooked me up to them. then she hung this thallium solution that would place added stress on my heart and that was to see if i had any kind of cardiac damage.

that shit was awful. i started feeling like i couldnt breathe, my chest was getting tight, and my arms and legs started hurting something fierce. i couldnt take it, and nearly begged the nurse to please stop the procedure. she did immediately and hung a solution to reverse the effects of the thallium solution, and i immediately felt better. then it was back to the meat locker and again i got another injection of the radiological stuff thru my IV and again the big machine was taking internal X-rays of my heart chambers.

when it was finally done, the tech called for the transporter to take me back upstairs to my room, to await the results of the test. when he brought me to my room, i thanked the transporter, and went over to my chair and sat down in it. i hadnt had a cigarette within the last 12 hours, and i was edgy and restless, so i slipped my shoes on and walked up and down the corridor.

while walking the hall, i saw my regular doctor who told me that they were awaiting the stress test results and if everything was OK i would be discharged home. i thanked her and continued my constitutional up and down the hallway. then i remembered i had bummed a cigarette from a lady in the waiting room down in the NucMed room, and yes i know it was wrong, and i should have known better, but i needed to get that monkey off my back, so i took some room spray and a towel into the bathroom, closed the door and put the towel against the bottom of the door and lit up. man, i felt myself coming back to life! i smoked half of it and then sprayed the bathroom real good and felt a whole hell of a lot better.

by then it was lunchtime, and lunch was actually good. i had meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and three 4 oz cups of apple juice, and two soft chocolate chip cookies - yum.

after i'd eaten, again, i snuck in the bathroom and finished off the last of the cigarette, making sure i sprayed the bathroom well and by that time, it was shift change - the 3-11 crew was coming on and it took me back to when i worked that shift, and how i would go sign in, get my assignment and then begin my work. there was a lot of new faces on the unit, especially the nurse assistants. while i was walking the hall, i spoke to them as they were coming on duty. they all were very, very nice, as was the nurse who was taking care of me.

well, once the results came in, the nurse told me she was getting my discharge papers ready, and was gonna take out the heplock in my hand, but i'd beaten her to it LOL

i was so ready to go. i called my guy friend Al and asked him if he could come get me and take me home, and he said he would, just to let him know when i was ready. once i got the word i was outta there, i called him and told him i'd be downstairs out in the front. i asked him if he could get me a pack of cigs, and he laughed and said no problem. i hung up, washed up quick, fast and in a hurry, and i took my stuff with me and all but raced to the elevators - woo hoo! i was FREE!!!!!!!

i sat outside and waited, restlessly pacing, until i saw him and i gratefully got in the back of his van, and we were off. he stopped at a gas station and got my cigs, and i was literally tearing the pack open with my teeth and popped one in my mouth, lit up and was in 7th heaven. i offered him one and he took it, while i was blissfully puffing away.

when he got to my house, i told him that i was gonna go upstairs and get this CD by this quartet from the 70s called "New York City" so he could make a copy for himself. i went upstairs and dumped my stuff, grabbed the CD and hurried back downstairs and gave it to him. he told me he was gonna burn himself a copy and give me mine back soon. i thanked him again, and then wearily i trudged back up the stairs, grateful to be home.

(side note: i brought my blanket and sheet home with me. i finally got rid of that godawful, raggedy comforter. now my bed looks the way a bed should look *wink*)

and on that note, i have taken my bedtime meds, and now i'm gonna take a shower in my own bathroom, and not with no little -ass bar of soap, but my favorite bar of unscented Oil of Olay Sensitive Skin soap. and then i hope to be in my bed...asleep.

that's it. i'm out. peace.