there's no place like home

*yawn* i am tired today. after that little excursion from yesterday, i'm still tired, and to make it worse, i woke up TOO DAMN EARLY!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i called the station and told them i wouldnt be able to make it today. after i took my meds last night, i got dizzy and i knew if i kept standing up, i was liable to hit the floor. so as soon as my head landed on my pillow, i was O-U-T.

i guess when some of us who are battling our respective illnesses and who have isolated ourselves from the outside, when we DO find the energy to actually venture out, we tend to get tired more easily, at least i do. even when i have to go out, for doctor appointments, or grocery shopping, and going to pay my rent, by the time i get home, i am truly wiped out. for real. I. AM. EXHAUSTED.

reconnecting with the outside world aint easy when you've decided that unless absolutely necessary, you wont leave your house because just the thought of having to shower/bathe, brush teeth, put on clothes makes you want to crawl back into bed and sleep all day.

now i know y'all are saying, "hey, quit making excuses and get up offa your big ass and get out there!" well, i'm taking baby steps ok? to do too much all in one day gets me overwhelmed , and makes me stay in my shell. and i know some of y'all know what i'm talking about. sometimes just the thought itself will make you TIRED.

when i reflect back on how i once was, it kinda depresses me. there was a time when the weekend came, i would be gettin' myself all cute so i could hang out with my godson, dance my ass off and just clown all night long. i was practically NEVER at home come the weekends.

there was one Friday night one of my co-workers had a birthday and she wanted to go out after work. i told her about the spot where my godson DJ'd, and after we punched out, we split up in different cars and headed to the spot. she had a blast, and so did the rest of us. i didnt have any $$$ to give her, so i decided that she should celebrate her birthday at the club. she was overjoyed at the fact, and so there it was. she and her boyfriend went in one car, and me and my other homegirls followed behind.

once we got there, the other two ladies were kinda quiet, and just took it all in, but me and the birthday girl was dancin' and shakin' our groove thangs and havin a ball. i even had my godson to announce her birthday and that the nurses from Mercy Hospital were in the house that night, which had the rest of the crowd whoopin' and hollerin LOL ah, good times.

well i guess i wont be going down to the station tomorrow, cuz the lady called me a few minutes ago and said she didnt need me for the 3pm-4pm slot tomorrow. *whew* i'm glad actually. i still need time to recuperate from yesterday. plus, my right knee is aching something fierce, so i'm gonna chill.

after all, there's no place like home.