fire in the, um, "hole"?

Sandi (MsPeculiar) sent me this in an email and when i read it i laughed my ass off and had to share LOL

this story gives a whole new meaning to the song by Jerry Lee Lewis....goodness gracious.....

"GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

errrum, did ole boy have a bean burrito or some chili with beans before his procedure? did he not know that farts are um, FLAMMABLE?!?!?!?!?!!?????? why did not said gentleman take a whopping dose of "Beano" the night before his procedure?

and exactly what were said "surgical spirits" made of? Turpentine? Formaldehyde? Rubbing alcohol? Butane? Propane? Linseed oil? Kerosene? Sterno? Colt45? Jack Daniels? Hennessy? Martell? Wild Irish Rose? how the fuck do you "soak" someone's genitals?????????

was said patient's dick and nuts hanging in a bucket of said above spirits/solvents/accelarents and when his anus erupted noxious fumes from his ass as the surgeon was using the Bovie --an electrical instrument used in surgical procedures for cauterizing or sealing off blood vessels or removing unwanted appendages such as moles, warts or skin tags, um, did he not realize that would result in errrum, SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION???????

and this bozo wants to sue the hospital? WTF? if anything the docs should sue him for subjecting them to the odious fumes emitted from his ass. i'm sure the good docs were NOT anticipating a patient to fart while in the midst of a rather, um, delicate operation like removing a mole from said patient's gluteous maximus (his ASS okay?)

and now *drum roll* "THE INCREDIBLY STUPID AND DUMB BEYOND BELIEF AWARD" goes to......the fartbox patient who should have known better than to ingest possibly fart-inducing foods that would cause his anus to erupt with odious fumes whilst under anesthesia, which, as a result, caused him to errrum, feel a "burning" sensation in his genitals when said Bovie (electric knife) made contact with his ass.....*rimshot*

i see a prosthesis in this patient's future OR his wife leaving him for someone who doesnt possess *cough* a *cough* "toasted weenie" when it's time to make love, knock boots, get busy, fuck, or get the "swerve" on....