well, tomorrow is the 1st of December, and almost the close of another year. it's been one, lemme tell ya. for me, it's been a year of mostly tears. for those of you who actually bother to read my blog, my dad passed away on the 1st of March, and his passing left a huge hole in my heart. the meds i'm on now have literally made me numb emotionally, but there are still times that the tears slip up on me and i cant help but weep.
also, next month on the 12th would have been my mama's 83rd birthday. though mama was hell on wheels at times, i still miss her. but i know that she and Daddy are back together again and they both are forever young and happy and filled with joy and arent suffering from the illnesses that took them away. mama is with Daddy, and all her sisters and brother, and my grandma and grandpa on her side and Daddy is with my grandma and grandpa on his side.
reflecting back on all of this made me think of a song by Aretha Franklin called "Sweet Bitter Love".....
spoken intro: " i talk to you today... we loved each other, for so long, in that special way... and if circumstances... should keep us apart (sung: i just want you to know)
that you...
will remain....
forever....
here..
in my heart.........."
Sweet....
Sweet bitter love
The taste
Still lingers
Though thru my
Helpless fingers
You slipped away, oh, yes you did
Sweet....my sweet bitter love
What joy you taught me
And what pain
You didnt mean to
But you brought me
In so short
Baby, in so short a stay......
My magic
Dreams
Have lost
Their spell....
And where
Where there
Was hope is
Now an
An empty shell.....
Oh sweet
my, my my bitter love
Why have you
Awakened
And then
You'd forsaken
A trusting heart
Like mine....
Oh our magic
Dreams have lost
Their spell
And where
Where there was hope
Oh look at me now
There is
An empty shell....
Oh sweet
My my my, my my
Bitter love,
What you awakened
And then
And then
And then
You had forsaken
A trusting heart...
Like mine....
Oh I love you so
Yes I do
A trusting heart
Like...
Mine.
from the album "Who's Zoomin' Who?"
Music and lyrics by Aretha Franklin (c) 1985, Arista Records.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
THANK YOU !!!!!!
a gracious hello to my friends in Blogland and to those who are "just passin' thru' *smile* i wanna apologize for not being online these last few days...due to circumstances beyond my control, my cable and Internet services were temporarily interrupted, but thanks again to my dear older daughter, she went online on her home 'puter and paid the past due amount to get my services restored. God bless her! also, i hope everyone's Turkey Day was bountiful, blessed and peaceful.
i was pleasantly surprised by my Chi-town homegirl Nicole's (Bipolar Princess) post! wow. i dont know what to say except "THANK YOU!!!!" i appreciate your kind words and you are a very sweet person********* SUPERSIZED HUGS *****! and the same goes to Colleen *insert HUGE HUGE HUG here :)*, to James - you da man homey!, to Maggs - so glad to get to know you and HUGE HUGE HUGS to you too!; Sandi (MsP), sistagirl i love ya and MORE HUGE HUGE HUGS *smile*, Sid, my other Chi-town homegirl (((((((((((((((((((((((Sid)))))))))))))))))), Vince, another cool cat, love ya bruh! and to all whose names i cant remember but you know who you are consider yourself HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGED also!
i am very humbled by all of you and i appreciate the feedback, concern and comments that you've left on my blog. i dont write it to feed my ego, on the contrary, i just tryand keep it as real as can be. so once again, THANK YOU from the depths of this lil shawt yella Black gal's old nicotine coated heart *wink* *cough* (i'm just getting over a cold..grrrrrrrrr)*cough*
btw...i have my lil "chubby wubby" today...he is so precious and adorable. he's sitting beside me in his rocker chair snoozing.
may all of you whom i've befriended and who have stopped by my blog of meaningless drivel lol be blessed during this holiday season. in fact, lets all make an effort to show love ALL YEAR ROUND. though i dont celebrate Xmas, i respect those who do, and who celebrate it in the Spirit in which it is named. my holiday is Kwanzaa, and God willing around the last part of December i will list all the Seven Principles and their meanings. it is not a religious holiday; it is more of a celebration of the first fruits of the harvest of my forbears in the Motherland.
anyways. i've blabbered enough for now. Merry Xmas to all who observe it, Happy Hannukah to my friends of the Hebrew faith, Feliz Navidad to my Hispanic brothers and sistas, and as we say in Swahili "HARAMBEE!" (ha-rom-bay) which means "lets pull together as one"
Peace blessings and love to all.
i was pleasantly surprised by my Chi-town homegirl Nicole's (Bipolar Princess) post! wow. i dont know what to say except "THANK YOU!!!!" i appreciate your kind words and you are a very sweet person********* SUPERSIZED HUGS *****! and the same goes to Colleen *insert HUGE HUGE HUG here :)*, to James - you da man homey!, to Maggs - so glad to get to know you and HUGE HUGE HUGS to you too!; Sandi (MsP), sistagirl i love ya and MORE HUGE HUGE HUGS *smile*, Sid, my other Chi-town homegirl (((((((((((((((((((((((Sid)))))))))))))))))), Vince, another cool cat, love ya bruh! and to all whose names i cant remember but you know who you are consider yourself HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGED also!
i am very humbled by all of you and i appreciate the feedback, concern and comments that you've left on my blog. i dont write it to feed my ego, on the contrary, i just tryand keep it as real as can be. so once again, THANK YOU from the depths of this lil shawt yella Black gal's old nicotine coated heart *wink* *cough* (i'm just getting over a cold..grrrrrrrrr)*cough*
btw...i have my lil "chubby wubby" today...he is so precious and adorable. he's sitting beside me in his rocker chair snoozing.
may all of you whom i've befriended and who have stopped by my blog of meaningless drivel lol be blessed during this holiday season. in fact, lets all make an effort to show love ALL YEAR ROUND. though i dont celebrate Xmas, i respect those who do, and who celebrate it in the Spirit in which it is named. my holiday is Kwanzaa, and God willing around the last part of December i will list all the Seven Principles and their meanings. it is not a religious holiday; it is more of a celebration of the first fruits of the harvest of my forbears in the Motherland.
anyways. i've blabbered enough for now. Merry Xmas to all who observe it, Happy Hannukah to my friends of the Hebrew faith, Feliz Navidad to my Hispanic brothers and sistas, and as we say in Swahili "HARAMBEE!" (ha-rom-bay) which means "lets pull together as one"
Peace blessings and love to all.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Mizeeyore
It is my opinion that Mizeeyore is one of the most wonderful people in blogland. This has nothing to do with me being manic, just wanted her to know that she is loved and appreciated. It warmed my heart to read about your time with the baby, hope you enjoyed it.
Love,
Princess
Love,
Princess
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
adventures in babysitting - part 2
well i had my little guy all day today from 10 am til now. he is such an adorable lil fella. his mommy had brought him over and he was half-asleep wearing a cute little Winnie the Pooh sleeper. i put him down and played with him while he was still partially awake, and then he got a little fussy, so i gave him one of his two bottles of formula, and them lil eyes got heavy and i laid him down on my bed and let him go back to sleep. i watched TV while he slept, and getting bored with TV, i started reading a book. then my lil guy started stirring, and woke up. i picked him up and took his sleeper off and washed it out by hand and hung it up over my stove burners so it could dry. then i put on a T-shirt and some shorts that was in the bag, and set him in his chair and commenced to feed him. his mom had packed some turkey and rice baby food in the jar, so i warmed some of it up and sat down to feed him. i love it when he smiles at me and though feeding time was a tad messy, we still had fun.
around 2:45 the baby's aunt knocked on my door to use my phone, because she had to call Ebony (her sister) and tell her she was locked out. so Ebony asked me if it was okay if her sister waited at my house until either her or her boyfriend came home. i said sure, and she settled on the sofa and after awhile she dozed off, while i kept playing with the baby.
around 3:30 i gave him his bath and let him play in the water, then i picked him up and wrapped a towel around him still talking and cooing at him, then i laid him down and made sure he was completely dried off, and i rubbed him down real good with some shea butter cream and the sprinkled some baby powder all over him including his diaper. i put his diaper on and i could see those gorgeous eyes getting heavy again, and i put his nice warm sleeper back on him and then sat him in his rocker chair, gave him his Binky and then i combed and brushed his hair and put some of the shea butter on his cute lil face, and started rocking him. those eyes were getting heavy lol. since he had finished a 4 oz bottle of baby apple juice, i rinsed out the bottle and put 4 ounces of his formula from the other bottle in that bottle, and picked him up, cradled him in my arms and gave him the bottle. he took all 4 ounces and those lil eyes closed. i laid him down on his big soft flannel blanket, swaddled him good, gave him his Binky and off to dreamland he went. *whew!!! LOL
i took the bottles that were empty, washed them good, and then put some water in a big microwavable bowl and put the bottles, nipples, nipple caps and the Binky and "sterilized" the items in the microwave for about 10 minutes. yeah i'm still old school about sterilizing baby bottles lol. then i made a fresh bottle with the powdered formula and clean water, added some cereal and shook it well, capped the bottle and set it aside. since the water i boiled the bottles and nipples was still clean, i poured 4 ounces of the clean water into the clean 4 ounce bottle and capped it, and took them both and put them in the baby's bag.
whew! time flies when you're having fun! i keep him again Friday and Saturday (i think his mommy's schedule is subject to change) so i just go with the flow lol.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!!!!!!
around 2:45 the baby's aunt knocked on my door to use my phone, because she had to call Ebony (her sister) and tell her she was locked out. so Ebony asked me if it was okay if her sister waited at my house until either her or her boyfriend came home. i said sure, and she settled on the sofa and after awhile she dozed off, while i kept playing with the baby.
around 3:30 i gave him his bath and let him play in the water, then i picked him up and wrapped a towel around him still talking and cooing at him, then i laid him down and made sure he was completely dried off, and i rubbed him down real good with some shea butter cream and the sprinkled some baby powder all over him including his diaper. i put his diaper on and i could see those gorgeous eyes getting heavy again, and i put his nice warm sleeper back on him and then sat him in his rocker chair, gave him his Binky and then i combed and brushed his hair and put some of the shea butter on his cute lil face, and started rocking him. those eyes were getting heavy lol. since he had finished a 4 oz bottle of baby apple juice, i rinsed out the bottle and put 4 ounces of his formula from the other bottle in that bottle, and picked him up, cradled him in my arms and gave him the bottle. he took all 4 ounces and those lil eyes closed. i laid him down on his big soft flannel blanket, swaddled him good, gave him his Binky and off to dreamland he went. *whew!!! LOL
i took the bottles that were empty, washed them good, and then put some water in a big microwavable bowl and put the bottles, nipples, nipple caps and the Binky and "sterilized" the items in the microwave for about 10 minutes. yeah i'm still old school about sterilizing baby bottles lol. then i made a fresh bottle with the powdered formula and clean water, added some cereal and shook it well, capped the bottle and set it aside. since the water i boiled the bottles and nipples was still clean, i poured 4 ounces of the clean water into the clean 4 ounce bottle and capped it, and took them both and put them in the baby's bag.
whew! time flies when you're having fun! i keep him again Friday and Saturday (i think his mommy's schedule is subject to change) so i just go with the flow lol.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!!!!!!
be thankful for what you got
just when i think things are finally beginning to look up, here comes something else to slap me back into the pit. i know that the Creator sometimes puts us thru "tests of faith" to see if we can handle the pressure, but i also know He doesnt put on us more than we can bear. and right now my faith is being pushed to the limit, but it's no one's fault but mine. i created this mess and i'm woman enuf to admit it's my mess. all i can do right now is "Let Go and Let God."
i refer to the "Serenity Prayer" a lot when i'm going thru..."God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference." after that, i get out of His way and let Him handle things.
problems? oh yeah. a shitload of 'em. my checking account's overdrawn, i'm gonna have to pay double payments on my phone, light and gas bills, plus i've been catalog shopping and deferring payments on stuff i like because being a woman, i like to look nice REGARDLESS to how i might feel inside, which right now is stir-fried shit. however; i still count my blessings. i am thankful that i do have a roof over my head, thankful for my children, thankful for still being here, in spite of the moments i've had where i felt like i was a burden to my kids (and i'm still battling that one) and everybody else. so yes, i'm thankful that the Creator has brought me this far.
i am thankful for the friends i've made here in Blogland, and for my friend V, who has been there for me, and though we have had our disagreements and differences, thru it all she's a good person and i'm thankful to be her friend.
when i think about the problems i have, i have to think again about the poor people who have no place to call home, who have no family or friends to help them, who sometimes eat out of garbage cans, and realize that could very well happen to me. knowing that keeps me grounded, and my heart goes out to them and to anyone who is having a hard time right now. i have to constantly remind my own self to be thankful for what you got....because the tide could turn in a split second and turn my whole world upside down.
regardless of what your religious/spiritual affiliation, it's still all good. this Thanksgiving, let's all be thankful for what we got. i bid you all peace and blessings, love and light.
i refer to the "Serenity Prayer" a lot when i'm going thru..."God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference." after that, i get out of His way and let Him handle things.
problems? oh yeah. a shitload of 'em. my checking account's overdrawn, i'm gonna have to pay double payments on my phone, light and gas bills, plus i've been catalog shopping and deferring payments on stuff i like because being a woman, i like to look nice REGARDLESS to how i might feel inside, which right now is stir-fried shit. however; i still count my blessings. i am thankful that i do have a roof over my head, thankful for my children, thankful for still being here, in spite of the moments i've had where i felt like i was a burden to my kids (and i'm still battling that one) and everybody else. so yes, i'm thankful that the Creator has brought me this far.
i am thankful for the friends i've made here in Blogland, and for my friend V, who has been there for me, and though we have had our disagreements and differences, thru it all she's a good person and i'm thankful to be her friend.
when i think about the problems i have, i have to think again about the poor people who have no place to call home, who have no family or friends to help them, who sometimes eat out of garbage cans, and realize that could very well happen to me. knowing that keeps me grounded, and my heart goes out to them and to anyone who is having a hard time right now. i have to constantly remind my own self to be thankful for what you got....because the tide could turn in a split second and turn my whole world upside down.
regardless of what your religious/spiritual affiliation, it's still all good. this Thanksgiving, let's all be thankful for what we got. i bid you all peace and blessings, love and light.
Monday, November 21, 2005
The Bernard Pivot Questionnaire (Dan, i hope you dont mind my borrowing this from you)
(Yes, this is the Bernard Pivot questionnaire James Lipton uses on "Inside The Actor's Studio")
What is your favorite word?
Respect.
What is your least favorite word?
Stupid.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
Poetry, art, music; knowing that the Creator loves me regardless; the love of my children.
What turns you off?
Ignorance, prejudice, stereotypes.
What is your favorite curse word?
Punk-ass muthafucka i.e., "you's a punk-ass muthafucka"
What sound or noise do you love?
Silence.
What sound or noise do you hate?
Nails scratching on blackboards *shudder*; too many muthafuckas talking all at once...makes my head wanna explode!
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Probably writing. Or having my own "Apprentice" j/k
What profession would you NOT like to do?
Nursing. Never, EVER, EVER again!
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You can enter my Child, but you got some 'splaining to do......
What is your favorite word?
Respect.
What is your least favorite word?
Stupid.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
Poetry, art, music; knowing that the Creator loves me regardless; the love of my children.
What turns you off?
Ignorance, prejudice, stereotypes.
What is your favorite curse word?
Punk-ass muthafucka i.e., "you's a punk-ass muthafucka"
What sound or noise do you love?
Silence.
What sound or noise do you hate?
Nails scratching on blackboards *shudder*; too many muthafuckas talking all at once...makes my head wanna explode!
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Probably writing. Or having my own "Apprentice" j/k
What profession would you NOT like to do?
Nursing. Never, EVER, EVER again!
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You can enter my Child, but you got some 'splaining to do......
Sunday, November 20, 2005
is this your final answer? (colleen i hope you dont mind me swiping these *smile*)
Stuff People Should Know About You (tho i rather they didnt)
Name: Genelle
Age: 46
Hair Color: Red Spice by Dark & Lovely
Eye color: chocolate brown
Height: 5 feet
Favorite color: Earth-tones (black, chocolate brown, sienna, cinnamon)
Favorite food: dont really have a favie, sorry
Rap or Rock: neither.
Punk or Pop: neither
Emo or Ska: huh?
Drink: nope, because i take meds
Smoke: *looks around guiltily* um, yes....
Drugs: Illegal, no. Legal, yes *sigh*
Favorite Band/Singer: Earth Wind and Fire, The Spinners, The Temptations, the late Luther Vandross, Aretha Franklin
Favorite Song: "Dance With My Father," "Respect," "That's The Way of The World," "Devotion (live version)," "Could It Be I'm Falling In Love"
Brother(s)? yes, one
Sisters? yes, two
Date of Birth: December 30
Favorite holiday: Kwanzaa
Music or TV: music
Billy Paul or Billy Joel? Billy Paul
HIM or Bam? who?
New York or LA? neither.
Winter or summer? Fall/winter
Spring or Fall? Fall definitely
Single? happily yes!
In love? yeah
Zeppelin or Doors: neither
AC C/DC or Stones? Stones
Green Day or Good Charlotte? neither
Pets? unfortunately no *sad face*
Gifts or money? it doesnt matter
Skates or skateboard: neither
Rain or snow? errr....lemme get back to ya...
AIM or AOL? neither. Yahoo or MSN IM
What city do you live in? Chicago
Chemical romance? excellent
Blink 182 good/bad? sorry dude, not into them
Slipknot good/bad? err...if you're tying a knot, then good?
HIM good/bad? who?????
Green Day good/bad? *sigh* not into them, grrrr
Favorite Album: "Commodores" (1977), "What's Goin' On" (1970)
"Freeway of Love" (1985)
Favorite album cover: Earth, Wind and Fire's "I Am" (1978) and EWF "Raise!" (1979)
Do you like "Nirvana"? for the last time.....NOT INTO THEM
Pepsi/Coke? neither. Sierra Mist or Faygo Black Cherry pop, Sprite Re-Mix
Do you believe in God? Absolutely!
Do you go to church? no *waits for ceiling to fall in on me*
Do you pray? not as often as i should, but i do meditate
Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate of course!
Favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry's "Karamel Sutra" YUM!!!!!!!
Dress/pants? pants
Do you use eyeliner? sometimes
If so, a lot/if not, why not? no, because then i'd look like a tired raccoon. who makes up these questions man?
Shoes/sandals? Both
Short socks/long? short
Pink/Black? Black, no doubt!
Blue /Green? neither. Yuck.
Do you have a cell phone? yeeeeaaahhhh, and i aint giving out the number!
Do you use it a lot? who are you? The CIA? nunya, ai'ght?
Do you have more than five (5) friends? yeah
Are you hungry? WTF? who wants to know?
Do you have a headache? yeah, from answering all these damn questions!
Are you drunk? um, what part of NO didnt you get? are you?
Are you smoking a cig? yeah. it's LEGAL, ok?
Are you str8/gay/bi? Bi
Wear glasses? yes
Contacts: NEVER
Do you have long/short hair? Super-short and close cut
What color shoes do you have? assorted
What color shirt do you have on? i'm not wearing one
Do you think Denzel Washington is hot? HELL YEAH!!!!!!
What about Brad Pitt? nope
Are you glad this survey is over? YES LORD!
Peace out!
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Name: Genelle
Age: 46
Hair Color: Red Spice by Dark & Lovely
Eye color: chocolate brown
Height: 5 feet
Favorite color: Earth-tones (black, chocolate brown, sienna, cinnamon)
Favorite food: dont really have a favie, sorry
Rap or Rock: neither.
Punk or Pop: neither
Emo or Ska: huh?
Drink: nope, because i take meds
Smoke: *looks around guiltily* um, yes....
Drugs: Illegal, no. Legal, yes *sigh*
Favorite Band/Singer: Earth Wind and Fire, The Spinners, The Temptations, the late Luther Vandross, Aretha Franklin
Favorite Song: "Dance With My Father," "Respect," "That's The Way of The World," "Devotion (live version)," "Could It Be I'm Falling In Love"
Brother(s)? yes, one
Sisters? yes, two
Date of Birth: December 30
Favorite holiday: Kwanzaa
Music or TV: music
Billy Paul or Billy Joel? Billy Paul
HIM or Bam? who?
New York or LA? neither.
Winter or summer? Fall/winter
Spring or Fall? Fall definitely
Single? happily yes!
In love? yeah
Zeppelin or Doors: neither
AC C/DC or Stones? Stones
Green Day or Good Charlotte? neither
Pets? unfortunately no *sad face*
Gifts or money? it doesnt matter
Skates or skateboard: neither
Rain or snow? errr....lemme get back to ya...
AIM or AOL? neither. Yahoo or MSN IM
What city do you live in? Chicago
Chemical romance? excellent
Blink 182 good/bad? sorry dude, not into them
Slipknot good/bad? err...if you're tying a knot, then good?
HIM good/bad? who?????
Green Day good/bad? *sigh* not into them, grrrr
Favorite Album: "Commodores" (1977), "What's Goin' On" (1970)
"Freeway of Love" (1985)
Favorite album cover: Earth, Wind and Fire's "I Am" (1978) and EWF "Raise!" (1979)
Do you like "Nirvana"? for the last time.....NOT INTO THEM
Pepsi/Coke? neither. Sierra Mist or Faygo Black Cherry pop, Sprite Re-Mix
Do you believe in God? Absolutely!
Do you go to church? no *waits for ceiling to fall in on me*
Do you pray? not as often as i should, but i do meditate
Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate of course!
Favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry's "Karamel Sutra" YUM!!!!!!!
Dress/pants? pants
Do you use eyeliner? sometimes
If so, a lot/if not, why not? no, because then i'd look like a tired raccoon. who makes up these questions man?
Shoes/sandals? Both
Short socks/long? short
Pink/Black? Black, no doubt!
Blue /Green? neither. Yuck.
Do you have a cell phone? yeeeeaaahhhh, and i aint giving out the number!
Do you use it a lot? who are you? The CIA? nunya, ai'ght?
Do you have more than five (5) friends? yeah
Are you hungry? WTF? who wants to know?
Do you have a headache? yeah, from answering all these damn questions!
Are you drunk? um, what part of NO didnt you get? are you?
Are you smoking a cig? yeah. it's LEGAL, ok?
Are you str8/gay/bi? Bi
Wear glasses? yes
Contacts: NEVER
Do you have long/short hair? Super-short and close cut
What color shoes do you have? assorted
What color shirt do you have on? i'm not wearing one
Do you think Denzel Washington is hot? HELL YEAH!!!!!!
What about Brad Pitt? nope
Are you glad this survey is over? YES LORD!
Peace out!
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Saturday, November 19, 2005
just another so-so Saturday
well, i didnt get to keep my lil fella today. i guess his mom or dad was there, and truth be told, i miss him. so it was just another so-so Saturday. i slept most of the morning, and then woke up feeling stiff all over, like i had been bench-pressing a bus. didnt do much of anything but mostly sat at this computer and surfed blogs. a while ago, i gave myself a haircut, which doesnt look too bad, put in texturizer (for my non-African-American readers, it is a product used to release the natural wave pattern in our hair, especially if it is cut very close to the head, which is how mine is now), i washed it good, and then applied gel to define my wave pattern. and i took my straight razor and shaped my brows. now i'm tired just from that little bit of self-care.
how does my hair look? well if any of you are familiar with the movie "Set It Off" at the end when Jada Pinkett (Smith) was in a cheap hotel where she'd left behind her friends who were killed in their last bank heist, she'd cut off all her braids and had gelled her hair close to her head, and was driving an old Jeep thru the Mexican desert, well, that's how it looks. in another week i will color it again (not quite ready to let my gray show lol) this shade called "Red Spice" from Dark & Lovely, which is a deep red-brown. the color goes well with my complexion (i am a lightskinned Black woman) and with this cut, it looks even better if i must say so myself.
i've taken my bedtime meds and in a little while i'll be ready to go to sleep. i guess the baby's mommy's schedule is gonna be a tad erratic, but it's all good. whenever she needs me, all she has to do is knock on my window or door and i'll be happy to have him. btw, she did pay me $35 instead of $40, but that's okay too. as long as i can keep some kind of money coming in, it's fine by me.
oh i almost forgot...my oldest daughter paid my telephone bill for me the other day and also told me that she put in for the Thanksgiving meal that's offered by Boston Market -- with all the trimmings. i was speechless and expressed how grateful and appreciative i was that she would do that. i had FINALLY defrosted the turkey that had been sitting in my freezer since 2003. i got the bird from the hospital I worked that was in Oak Park on the Westside of Chicago (and this is the same hospital was where i had my breakdown) because they were giving all the employees turkeys for Christmas. i lugged that heavy sucka thru the snow and on the "El" from the Austin "El" stop all the way to the East 63rd and Cottage Grove stop where i wearily got off and took the bus home, still wagging that heavy-assed bird.
unfortunately, my oven died around 1997, and i have told the real estate people countless times
about either fixing my oven or getting me a new one, and aint shit been done, and i just aint in the mood to bitch them out about it. however, my younger daughter wants to throw the old bird on the grill. she had asked Ebony (the baby's mommy) if it would be ok for her to grill our bird and i assume she said yes. so we shall see.
anyways, Happy Turkey Day to everyone and i hope you are blessed with bountiful goodness from the Creator and errrum, try not to OD on the turkey, gravy and dressing and all the other goodies *grins*
how does my hair look? well if any of you are familiar with the movie "Set It Off" at the end when Jada Pinkett (Smith) was in a cheap hotel where she'd left behind her friends who were killed in their last bank heist, she'd cut off all her braids and had gelled her hair close to her head, and was driving an old Jeep thru the Mexican desert, well, that's how it looks. in another week i will color it again (not quite ready to let my gray show lol) this shade called "Red Spice" from Dark & Lovely, which is a deep red-brown. the color goes well with my complexion (i am a lightskinned Black woman) and with this cut, it looks even better if i must say so myself.
i've taken my bedtime meds and in a little while i'll be ready to go to sleep. i guess the baby's mommy's schedule is gonna be a tad erratic, but it's all good. whenever she needs me, all she has to do is knock on my window or door and i'll be happy to have him. btw, she did pay me $35 instead of $40, but that's okay too. as long as i can keep some kind of money coming in, it's fine by me.
oh i almost forgot...my oldest daughter paid my telephone bill for me the other day and also told me that she put in for the Thanksgiving meal that's offered by Boston Market -- with all the trimmings. i was speechless and expressed how grateful and appreciative i was that she would do that. i had FINALLY defrosted the turkey that had been sitting in my freezer since 2003. i got the bird from the hospital I worked that was in Oak Park on the Westside of Chicago (and this is the same hospital was where i had my breakdown) because they were giving all the employees turkeys for Christmas. i lugged that heavy sucka thru the snow and on the "El" from the Austin "El" stop all the way to the East 63rd and Cottage Grove stop where i wearily got off and took the bus home, still wagging that heavy-assed bird.
unfortunately, my oven died around 1997, and i have told the real estate people countless times
about either fixing my oven or getting me a new one, and aint shit been done, and i just aint in the mood to bitch them out about it. however, my younger daughter wants to throw the old bird on the grill. she had asked Ebony (the baby's mommy) if it would be ok for her to grill our bird and i assume she said yes. so we shall see.
anyways, Happy Turkey Day to everyone and i hope you are blessed with bountiful goodness from the Creator and errrum, try not to OD on the turkey, gravy and dressing and all the other goodies *grins*
Thursday, November 17, 2005
adventures in babysitting
well yesterday i started my baby-sitting "job". originally i had asked my next door neighbor, a very sweet young lady, if she needed someone to watch her baby while she worked and at the time she said no. a week later she asked me was i still interested in keeping her baby - an absolutely adorable and precious 8 month old baby boy - and i told her sure, since i didnt go anywhere and was here at home the majority of the time. so the deal was sealed and she said she would pay me $40 a week to keep him three days out of the week. sounded good to me, as i need whatever extra money i can get.
as i previously mentioned, i started yesterday. when she brought him to me, he was sleeping, so i had a moment to kinda chill and watch some TV. then he woke up looking around and i turned to pick him up. lawd, that child is heavy LOL! it had been a LONG time since i held an eight month old (both my daughters are grown-one is 26 and the other is 18, so add those two ages together and you'll see what i mean lol) in my arms. his mommy told me that he was born a preemie, but he filled out REAL fast. he's got plump lil arms and legs, and seems to be a very happy lil fella, and is cute as a button.
anyways, once he woke up, i picked him up and sat him on my lap and played with him, tickling his tummy and getting a kick out of watching him smile. as i said, he is a solid lil guy, and his mommy had made two bottles with baby cereal in them, so when he started to get a little fussy, i held him in my arms and gave him his ba-ba (bottle). within minutes, that bottle was empty!
i held him against my shoulder with a blanket and he gave me a nice healthy burp, and then i put him down on my bed and let him kick his lil plump legs and gave him his "Binky" (pacifier) and i laid down next to him and let him have a ball.
i thought my skills as a mommy caring for a little baby were rusty, but as i fed him and played with him it all came back to me. i would make funny noises and just seeing hiim smile made me smile. then, looking thru his diaper bag, i saw his mommy had packed some Gerber mixed baby cereal, and a can of mini-ravioli. i sat him in his baby seat that also doubled as a rocker, and figured, well, maybe he can eat some of the ravioli, if i mash it up really good. so i tried that.
that notion went south, and then i thought, "duh! i used to give my girls baby cereal so they would be nice and full" so i poured the ravioli back into the can, washed out the bowl and then put some of the Gerber cereal in the bowl, mixed it with a little water and some of the formula, and sat down on my bed and fed him. when i made funny faces, he'd get tickled and would open his lil mouth and eat the cereal. he took it in really well, and then i figured i'd save his mommy some time, and gave him a bath to help him fall asleep. his mommy had packed some baby bath with the soothing vapors and some baby powder. i took off his diaper and found where he had pooped (thankfully it was a solid one), cleaned it off and then took him to the bathroom, sat him in the sink and washed him up.
by that time, i could see those little eyes getting sleepy, and i knew it wouldnt be long before the lil fella would drift off to sleep. i dried him off and was putting on some fresh clothes when his daddy knocked on my window to tell me he was coming to get him. i told his daddy to give me a few minutes to get him dressed, and then he told me he was gonna make a run to the store, and i said he'll be ready when he got back.
there's nothing sweeter than a fresh and clean baby. i put on a clean diaper, got him into one of his little outfits, put some socks on his feet and a little cap on his head. that being done, i sat him in his little rocker chair and he was tryin to kick up a fuss, but i gave him some of his other bottle, and then his lil eyes got heavy and he was falling asleep. he took about 3 ounces of his cereal/formula, and i eased the bottle away, picked him up and laid him on his big comforter blankie and wrapped him up good. i gave him his "Binky" and then held him in my arms and rocked him and the next thing i know, he was sound asleep.
looking at him sleep took me back to when i was a new mommy to both my girls. it was amazing to me how my "new mommy" instincts came flooding back in just those few hours that i kept him. he looked so adorable with his little "Binky" sleeping like an angel. when his daddy came back to get him, i was tired, but at the same time, it felt like a part of me went with him even tho he lives right next door.
when i woke up this morning, both my arms ached, but it's all good. i keep my lil man again on Saturday morning.
by the way, his name is Prentice Mario Edwards and he has stolen my heart.
as i previously mentioned, i started yesterday. when she brought him to me, he was sleeping, so i had a moment to kinda chill and watch some TV. then he woke up looking around and i turned to pick him up. lawd, that child is heavy LOL! it had been a LONG time since i held an eight month old (both my daughters are grown-one is 26 and the other is 18, so add those two ages together and you'll see what i mean lol) in my arms. his mommy told me that he was born a preemie, but he filled out REAL fast. he's got plump lil arms and legs, and seems to be a very happy lil fella, and is cute as a button.
anyways, once he woke up, i picked him up and sat him on my lap and played with him, tickling his tummy and getting a kick out of watching him smile. as i said, he is a solid lil guy, and his mommy had made two bottles with baby cereal in them, so when he started to get a little fussy, i held him in my arms and gave him his ba-ba (bottle). within minutes, that bottle was empty!
i held him against my shoulder with a blanket and he gave me a nice healthy burp, and then i put him down on my bed and let him kick his lil plump legs and gave him his "Binky" (pacifier) and i laid down next to him and let him have a ball.
i thought my skills as a mommy caring for a little baby were rusty, but as i fed him and played with him it all came back to me. i would make funny noises and just seeing hiim smile made me smile. then, looking thru his diaper bag, i saw his mommy had packed some Gerber mixed baby cereal, and a can of mini-ravioli. i sat him in his baby seat that also doubled as a rocker, and figured, well, maybe he can eat some of the ravioli, if i mash it up really good. so i tried that.
that notion went south, and then i thought, "duh! i used to give my girls baby cereal so they would be nice and full" so i poured the ravioli back into the can, washed out the bowl and then put some of the Gerber cereal in the bowl, mixed it with a little water and some of the formula, and sat down on my bed and fed him. when i made funny faces, he'd get tickled and would open his lil mouth and eat the cereal. he took it in really well, and then i figured i'd save his mommy some time, and gave him a bath to help him fall asleep. his mommy had packed some baby bath with the soothing vapors and some baby powder. i took off his diaper and found where he had pooped (thankfully it was a solid one), cleaned it off and then took him to the bathroom, sat him in the sink and washed him up.
by that time, i could see those little eyes getting sleepy, and i knew it wouldnt be long before the lil fella would drift off to sleep. i dried him off and was putting on some fresh clothes when his daddy knocked on my window to tell me he was coming to get him. i told his daddy to give me a few minutes to get him dressed, and then he told me he was gonna make a run to the store, and i said he'll be ready when he got back.
there's nothing sweeter than a fresh and clean baby. i put on a clean diaper, got him into one of his little outfits, put some socks on his feet and a little cap on his head. that being done, i sat him in his little rocker chair and he was tryin to kick up a fuss, but i gave him some of his other bottle, and then his lil eyes got heavy and he was falling asleep. he took about 3 ounces of his cereal/formula, and i eased the bottle away, picked him up and laid him on his big comforter blankie and wrapped him up good. i gave him his "Binky" and then held him in my arms and rocked him and the next thing i know, he was sound asleep.
looking at him sleep took me back to when i was a new mommy to both my girls. it was amazing to me how my "new mommy" instincts came flooding back in just those few hours that i kept him. he looked so adorable with his little "Binky" sleeping like an angel. when his daddy came back to get him, i was tired, but at the same time, it felt like a part of me went with him even tho he lives right next door.
when i woke up this morning, both my arms ached, but it's all good. i keep my lil man again on Saturday morning.
by the way, his name is Prentice Mario Edwards and he has stolen my heart.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
sorry James (and Manica) but this was too cool to not post!
James and Manica i hope you dont mind me swiping these questions!
1. What color are your kitchen plates? errrum, one clear and one with animal print.
2. What book(s) are you reading now? none at the present.
3. What or who is on your mouse pad? um, the mouse....
4. What is your favorite board game? dont have one.
5. Favorite magazine? Essence, Sister 2 Sister.
6. Baked goods? anything with chocolate!
7. Least favorite smell? someone whos cooking shit-lins! Ugh!
8. What's the first thing you think of in the morning? that i'm thankful to see another day.
9. Favorite color(s)? Earth-tone colors, i.e., black, khaki green, chocolate brown, cinnamon red, and burnt orange in the summer. oh and anything with animal print (leopard, cheetah, tiger)
10. Least favorite color(s)? Pastel colors (pink, yellow, turquoise, etc) Yuck.
11. How many rings before you answer the phone? depends on who's calling and the mood i'm in.
12. Kids? yes. two daughters ages 26 and 18.
13. What is your birthsign and birthdate? Capricorn, December 30th.
14. Do you eat the stems from broccoli? yep. love me some broccoli.
15. Do you like what you are doing now? it's a'ight.
16. If you could have any color hair, what would it be? a deep, intense red.
17. Is the glass half full or half empty? depends on who drank from it last LOL
18. Favorite movie? hm..there's several.."Good Morning Vietnam," "Awakenings," "The Color Purple," "The Five Heartbeats," "A Beautiful Mind," "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"
the ORIGINAL "Shaft", "SuperFly", "Five on the Black Hand Side," any funny Jim Carrey movie, i.e., "Liar, Liar," "Dumb and Dumber," "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective," and my all-time favie, "Bruce Almighty." i also like "The Temptations," "The Fighting Temptations," "Diary of a Mad Black Woman," "Duplex", "Meet the Parents," "Training Day," "Man on Fire," "Out of Time, "Malcolm X," "Set it Off," "Boyz in the 'Hood," "Friday," and the list goes on and on.....
19. Do you type with the right fingers on the keys? um, yeeeaahhh.....
20. What's under your bed? errum, dustbunnies, some scattered crumbs, a few lost cigarette butts....geez, dude, these questions are starting to short out the one functional brain cell i have left, damn
21. What is your favorite number? 7.
22. What is your single biggest fear? Life itself. Nuff said.
23. Person(s) most likely to respond? howdafuck would i know? damn!
24. Who is least likely to respond? again, howdafuck would i know? i feel that one brain cell starting to short out here.... cut a sista some slack a'ight? damn!
25. Favorite CD? the "Saturday Night Fever" , "Super Fly"and original "Shaft" soundtracks.
26. Favorite TV shows? Law & Order, L&O SVU, L&O CI, "ER", Discovery Health Channel "Trauma: Life in the ER," "Mystery Diagnosis," "Paramedics."
27. Ketchup or mustard? Both.
28. Hamburgers or hot dogs? Both.
29. Favorite soft drink? Black Cherry pop or Kool Aid.
30. The best place you have ever been? Vegas, baby!
31. The most amazing sight? seeing a rainbow, and watching the sun come up.
32. What wallpaper is on your computer right now? LOL. a very pissed off kitty with a lime peel helmet on its head, spirit gum on his whiskers. he looks like "Mew Manchu" LMAO
33. Favorite burger? a Bennigan's "Super Burger." that sumbitch is HUGE!
34. Favorite pet? Cats of course!
1. What color are your kitchen plates? errrum, one clear and one with animal print.
2. What book(s) are you reading now? none at the present.
3. What or who is on your mouse pad? um, the mouse....
4. What is your favorite board game? dont have one.
5. Favorite magazine? Essence, Sister 2 Sister.
6. Baked goods? anything with chocolate!
7. Least favorite smell? someone whos cooking shit-lins! Ugh!
8. What's the first thing you think of in the morning? that i'm thankful to see another day.
9. Favorite color(s)? Earth-tone colors, i.e., black, khaki green, chocolate brown, cinnamon red, and burnt orange in the summer. oh and anything with animal print (leopard, cheetah, tiger)
10. Least favorite color(s)? Pastel colors (pink, yellow, turquoise, etc) Yuck.
11. How many rings before you answer the phone? depends on who's calling and the mood i'm in.
12. Kids? yes. two daughters ages 26 and 18.
13. What is your birthsign and birthdate? Capricorn, December 30th.
14. Do you eat the stems from broccoli? yep. love me some broccoli.
15. Do you like what you are doing now? it's a'ight.
16. If you could have any color hair, what would it be? a deep, intense red.
17. Is the glass half full or half empty? depends on who drank from it last LOL
18. Favorite movie? hm..there's several.."Good Morning Vietnam," "Awakenings," "The Color Purple," "The Five Heartbeats," "A Beautiful Mind," "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"
the ORIGINAL "Shaft", "SuperFly", "Five on the Black Hand Side," any funny Jim Carrey movie, i.e., "Liar, Liar," "Dumb and Dumber," "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective," and my all-time favie, "Bruce Almighty." i also like "The Temptations," "The Fighting Temptations," "Diary of a Mad Black Woman," "Duplex", "Meet the Parents," "Training Day," "Man on Fire," "Out of Time, "Malcolm X," "Set it Off," "Boyz in the 'Hood," "Friday," and the list goes on and on.....
19. Do you type with the right fingers on the keys? um, yeeeaahhh.....
20. What's under your bed? errum, dustbunnies, some scattered crumbs, a few lost cigarette butts....geez, dude, these questions are starting to short out the one functional brain cell i have left, damn
21. What is your favorite number? 7.
22. What is your single biggest fear? Life itself. Nuff said.
23. Person(s) most likely to respond? howdafuck would i know? damn!
24. Who is least likely to respond? again, howdafuck would i know? i feel that one brain cell starting to short out here.... cut a sista some slack a'ight? damn!
25. Favorite CD? the "Saturday Night Fever" , "Super Fly"and original "Shaft" soundtracks.
26. Favorite TV shows? Law & Order, L&O SVU, L&O CI, "ER", Discovery Health Channel "Trauma: Life in the ER," "Mystery Diagnosis," "Paramedics."
27. Ketchup or mustard? Both.
28. Hamburgers or hot dogs? Both.
29. Favorite soft drink? Black Cherry pop or Kool Aid.
30. The best place you have ever been? Vegas, baby!
31. The most amazing sight? seeing a rainbow, and watching the sun come up.
32. What wallpaper is on your computer right now? LOL. a very pissed off kitty with a lime peel helmet on its head, spirit gum on his whiskers. he looks like "Mew Manchu" LMAO
33. Favorite burger? a Bennigan's "Super Burger." that sumbitch is HUGE!
34. Favorite pet? Cats of course!
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Bullwinkle's old lady and kid boozers?
i laughed my ass off with this story!
Drunk Moose Invade Swedish Seniors Home
By the Associated Press
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN - They rarely have problems with drunks or rowdy animals, but residents of a retirement home in southern Sweden had to deal with both: A pair of intoxicated moose invaded the premises.
The moose-- a cow and her calf--had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples they found outside the home in Sibbhult, said employee Anna Karlsson.
Police managed to scare them off once, but the tipsy mammals returned to get more of the tempting fruits. This time the moose were drunk and aggressive, forcing police to send for a hunter with a dog to make them leave.
Police did not pursue the culprits, but made sure all apples were picked up from the area, police chief Bengt Hallberg said. No one was hurt.
Hm. Who woulda thunk Bullwinkle's old lady and kid were boozers? wonder do they have AA meetings for wasted animals???
Drunk Moose Invade Swedish Seniors Home
By the Associated Press
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN - They rarely have problems with drunks or rowdy animals, but residents of a retirement home in southern Sweden had to deal with both: A pair of intoxicated moose invaded the premises.
The moose-- a cow and her calf--had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples they found outside the home in Sibbhult, said employee Anna Karlsson.
Police managed to scare them off once, but the tipsy mammals returned to get more of the tempting fruits. This time the moose were drunk and aggressive, forcing police to send for a hunter with a dog to make them leave.
Police did not pursue the culprits, but made sure all apples were picked up from the area, police chief Bengt Hallberg said. No one was hurt.
Hm. Who woulda thunk Bullwinkle's old lady and kid were boozers? wonder do they have AA meetings for wasted animals???
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
i stole this from Manica - sorry hon, but i couldnt resist!
QUESTIONS FOR THE MENTALLY ILL
What is your diagnosis?
*takes deep breath* major depression with psychotic features, PTSD, panic/anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder. in other words, i'm nuttier than squirrel turds, a'ight?
When were you diagnosed?
February, 2003.
How long do you think you have suffered mental illness?
Probably since being in utero...shit i dont know.
What medications are you taking for your illness?
*clears throat* in the AM, 150mg Zoloft, 50mg Sugarquel, err, Seroquel, 0.5mg Klonopin,
and for my blood pressure, Benicar HCT (an ACE inhibitor) 20/12.5 mg. *wipes forehead*
Evening: 50mg Seroquel.
Bedtime: 450mg Seroquel, 15mg Klonopin
Tell us about an episode.
Of what? oh you mean a mental episode. Sorry, thought you were asking about "Law and Order SVU."
Do you feel ashamed of your illness?
Hell no. Being crazy is cool. Skip a dose of the happy pills and watch the normies run when you start talking to the tree next to the bus stop. Fun!
What advice do you have for other sufferers?
We're all a bunch of mixed nuts. Get over it.
What advice do you have for those who don't suffer from your condition?
Ha!!! Your turn will come soon. Count on it. *evil laugh* bwahahahahahahaha
Is there anything you want to say to Tom Cruise?
Your last two"Mission: Impossible" movies self-destructed, dude. Um, do ya think the errum, dyslexia played a part for 'em to bite the big one at the box office. It's over. Let it go. Get a prescription for Prozac and shut the fuck up.
What is your diagnosis?
*takes deep breath* major depression with psychotic features, PTSD, panic/anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder. in other words, i'm nuttier than squirrel turds, a'ight?
When were you diagnosed?
February, 2003.
How long do you think you have suffered mental illness?
Probably since being in utero...shit i dont know.
What medications are you taking for your illness?
*clears throat* in the AM, 150mg Zoloft, 50mg Sugarquel, err, Seroquel, 0.5mg Klonopin,
and for my blood pressure, Benicar HCT (an ACE inhibitor) 20/12.5 mg. *wipes forehead*
Evening: 50mg Seroquel.
Bedtime: 450mg Seroquel, 15mg Klonopin
Tell us about an episode.
Of what? oh you mean a mental episode. Sorry, thought you were asking about "Law and Order SVU."
Do you feel ashamed of your illness?
Hell no. Being crazy is cool. Skip a dose of the happy pills and watch the normies run when you start talking to the tree next to the bus stop. Fun!
What advice do you have for other sufferers?
We're all a bunch of mixed nuts. Get over it.
What advice do you have for those who don't suffer from your condition?
Ha!!! Your turn will come soon. Count on it. *evil laugh* bwahahahahahahaha
Is there anything you want to say to Tom Cruise?
Your last two"Mission: Impossible" movies self-destructed, dude. Um, do ya think the errum, dyslexia played a part for 'em to bite the big one at the box office. It's over. Let it go. Get a prescription for Prozac and shut the fuck up.
Monday, November 07, 2005
memories of "Bedpan Alley" - thank God it's over for me
monday. such a fucked-up day to start a week on. there's been songs about mondays: "Manic Monday", "Monday, Monday". *sigh*. i used to dread going back to work after having my weekend off, because i knew i was gonna catch hell with admissions, transfers and discharges of patients on my unit (Telemetry and Cardiac Care).
i worked the 3-11 shift and most of the time when it was time to swipe my ID and sign in, i was already in attitude mode. all i wanted to do was get my patient assignment, get my supplies that i needed (butterfly needles, alcohol swabs, blood tubes, band-aids), grab the pulse oximetry machine, get report from the day nurses or clinical partners (FYI: CNA with crosstraining in phlebotomy (blood drawing) and performing EKGs) and get started taking vital signs, getting fresh water for my patients, and putting extra fitted sheets, drawsheets, full sheets, pillowcases, blankets, Chux (them blue underpads), hospital issue Depends (for those whose bodily functions were shot to hell), incontinence cleaning foam, extra gowns, and cloth underpads (to double with the Chux when tending to incontinent patients).
this is how i would organize my day. did it ever go like that? HELL NO. the majority of the time when i'd come on duty with my co-workers, i would find breakfast AND lunch trays still in the rooms, garbage pails overflowing, and a many a patient literally swimming in piss and shit because the triflin' day CP didnt bother to change the patient before she ended her shift. this would piss me off to high pissivity, and while i'm throwing myself behind cleaning up their mess, i'm fuming and cussin' under my breath about "lazy bitches leave all this shit for me to do and they KNOW better.
it would be even worse when the patients' families would be in their rooms and immediately start bitching me out because their loved one "hadnt had his/her bed changed all day, and him/her is lying in a puddle of piss and/or shit," and i would be right in the line of fire to jumpstart my already fucked up day. many many many times i had to "grin and bear it" with gritted teeth and a obviously phony smile saying, "oh i'm so sorry about this. i'll take care of it , dont worry, okay?" to which said family members would eventually feel sorry for me and say, "oh are you just coming on?" and i would reply, "yeah. i'm your clinical partner for the 3-11 shift" while i'm sweatin like a pig changing THE ENTIRE BED with said patient in it, givin that patient a bedbath because the bitches on the 7-3 shift didnt come back and bathe them, take the soggy, shitty Depends off of them, clean them up from head to foot, put a fresh gown on 'em, and make them look all nice and clean so the family members would stop bitching me out for the mess the day shift bitches neglected to do. it was even worse when the room had TWO patients that hadnt been tended to.....by that time, i would be LIVID with anger.
then once i got the patient so fresh and so clean clean, then i would begin MY routine of taking vital signs, doing Accu-Cheks on the diabetics, and sometimes drawing labs that AGAIN the day shift CPs did not do. by the time i finished with the patients who were all fucked up, i was madder than a wet hen and thus equipment would start flying upside the walls, clean utility room doors would get a savage yank to the point they'd hit the wall, and if i was TRULY pissed off to even higher pissivity, i'd snatch off my stethoscope, throw it down and stomp off the unit to go outside (even in freezing cold temperatures) to smoke myself into oblivion. um, can you say NURSE BURNOUT?????? not only was i burned out, but fucking burned up and fed up.
i would tell my boss (who was a sweetheart) in no uncertain terms about the crap i had to come behind on MY SHIFT. she would tell me to calm down and make a list of all the patient rooms that were out of order and she would deal with the offender. i did that for a while, and for a minute, the bullshit stopped, and i would come on duty with a rare smile. but of course it didnt last long. usually the next week, it'd be right back to bullshit. and i'd be pissed.
no disrespect to any RN who happens by my blog, but i used to think it was a conspiracy to pair me with the most trifling nurses on the whole goddam unit. i wont mention any of their names, but this one RN in particular looked like a fuckin witch...long overdyed black hair, and it never seemed to amaze me when i needed help with any of her patients, for a simple request to perhaps help me pull the patient up in bed - because most of my co-workers were either busy with their own people or "conveniently" disappeared - she too, would "conveniently" disappear and i was left to pull the patient(s) up in the bed ALONE. the RN who finally sent me over the edge was a Type-A control-freak bitch from hell, and she would always bitch me out about this or that and make me feel like i was a total idiot and didnt know my job. well, this one particular day she kept at me for the duration and i snapped. i told her that i'm very well capable of doing my job and that she need not keep running behind me to see if things were done, after all, i've been a nurse assistant for 10 fuckin years and dammit i didnt need a fuckin overseer to make sure i'm doing my goddam job. yes, i said those words, and then yanked off my stethoscope and tossed it, and stomped off the floor to go outside and smoke.
luckily, i learned a technique for doing that from another hospital and each time it workd like a charm. i would tilt the bed into reverse Trendelenburg (for those of y'all who are CNAs or RN/LPNs, you know what i'm talking about) to where the head of the bed tilted downward, and then i'd get in front of the bed and grab the drawsheet and if the patient was able to help out, i would have them scoot upwards; if the patient was not able to help, then i would grab the drawsheet and with every ounce of female power, pull that person upwards. it was a real challenge when the patient weighed 400 OR MORE POUNDS, then i'd really have to use every muscle, tendon, ligament in my upper body to pull that heavy-duty body upwards so that they wouldnt sink in the middle of the damn bed.
i look at my clock on the side of this computer and it says 2:28PM. this would be about the time i'd have already gotten to the hospital and started rounding up my shit so i can start my day. to anyone out there who works in healthcare, and you are in the nursing field, God bless you. i served an 11-year sentence to wind up taking medications to keep me sane.
would i do it again? HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO. i've had my share of short-staffing, overwork, underpayment and uncooperative co-workers to last me a lifetime.
Bedpan Alley can kiss my entire ass.
i worked the 3-11 shift and most of the time when it was time to swipe my ID and sign in, i was already in attitude mode. all i wanted to do was get my patient assignment, get my supplies that i needed (butterfly needles, alcohol swabs, blood tubes, band-aids), grab the pulse oximetry machine, get report from the day nurses or clinical partners (FYI: CNA with crosstraining in phlebotomy (blood drawing) and performing EKGs) and get started taking vital signs, getting fresh water for my patients, and putting extra fitted sheets, drawsheets, full sheets, pillowcases, blankets, Chux (them blue underpads), hospital issue Depends (for those whose bodily functions were shot to hell), incontinence cleaning foam, extra gowns, and cloth underpads (to double with the Chux when tending to incontinent patients).
this is how i would organize my day. did it ever go like that? HELL NO. the majority of the time when i'd come on duty with my co-workers, i would find breakfast AND lunch trays still in the rooms, garbage pails overflowing, and a many a patient literally swimming in piss and shit because the triflin' day CP didnt bother to change the patient before she ended her shift. this would piss me off to high pissivity, and while i'm throwing myself behind cleaning up their mess, i'm fuming and cussin' under my breath about "lazy bitches leave all this shit for me to do and they KNOW better.
it would be even worse when the patients' families would be in their rooms and immediately start bitching me out because their loved one "hadnt had his/her bed changed all day, and him/her is lying in a puddle of piss and/or shit," and i would be right in the line of fire to jumpstart my already fucked up day. many many many times i had to "grin and bear it" with gritted teeth and a obviously phony smile saying, "oh i'm so sorry about this. i'll take care of it , dont worry, okay?" to which said family members would eventually feel sorry for me and say, "oh are you just coming on?" and i would reply, "yeah. i'm your clinical partner for the 3-11 shift" while i'm sweatin like a pig changing THE ENTIRE BED with said patient in it, givin that patient a bedbath because the bitches on the 7-3 shift didnt come back and bathe them, take the soggy, shitty Depends off of them, clean them up from head to foot, put a fresh gown on 'em, and make them look all nice and clean so the family members would stop bitching me out for the mess the day shift bitches neglected to do. it was even worse when the room had TWO patients that hadnt been tended to.....by that time, i would be LIVID with anger.
then once i got the patient so fresh and so clean clean, then i would begin MY routine of taking vital signs, doing Accu-Cheks on the diabetics, and sometimes drawing labs that AGAIN the day shift CPs did not do. by the time i finished with the patients who were all fucked up, i was madder than a wet hen and thus equipment would start flying upside the walls, clean utility room doors would get a savage yank to the point they'd hit the wall, and if i was TRULY pissed off to even higher pissivity, i'd snatch off my stethoscope, throw it down and stomp off the unit to go outside (even in freezing cold temperatures) to smoke myself into oblivion. um, can you say NURSE BURNOUT?????? not only was i burned out, but fucking burned up and fed up.
i would tell my boss (who was a sweetheart) in no uncertain terms about the crap i had to come behind on MY SHIFT. she would tell me to calm down and make a list of all the patient rooms that were out of order and she would deal with the offender. i did that for a while, and for a minute, the bullshit stopped, and i would come on duty with a rare smile. but of course it didnt last long. usually the next week, it'd be right back to bullshit. and i'd be pissed.
no disrespect to any RN who happens by my blog, but i used to think it was a conspiracy to pair me with the most trifling nurses on the whole goddam unit. i wont mention any of their names, but this one RN in particular looked like a fuckin witch...long overdyed black hair, and it never seemed to amaze me when i needed help with any of her patients, for a simple request to perhaps help me pull the patient up in bed - because most of my co-workers were either busy with their own people or "conveniently" disappeared - she too, would "conveniently" disappear and i was left to pull the patient(s) up in the bed ALONE. the RN who finally sent me over the edge was a Type-A control-freak bitch from hell, and she would always bitch me out about this or that and make me feel like i was a total idiot and didnt know my job. well, this one particular day she kept at me for the duration and i snapped. i told her that i'm very well capable of doing my job and that she need not keep running behind me to see if things were done, after all, i've been a nurse assistant for 10 fuckin years and dammit i didnt need a fuckin overseer to make sure i'm doing my goddam job. yes, i said those words, and then yanked off my stethoscope and tossed it, and stomped off the floor to go outside and smoke.
luckily, i learned a technique for doing that from another hospital and each time it workd like a charm. i would tilt the bed into reverse Trendelenburg (for those of y'all who are CNAs or RN/LPNs, you know what i'm talking about) to where the head of the bed tilted downward, and then i'd get in front of the bed and grab the drawsheet and if the patient was able to help out, i would have them scoot upwards; if the patient was not able to help, then i would grab the drawsheet and with every ounce of female power, pull that person upwards. it was a real challenge when the patient weighed 400 OR MORE POUNDS, then i'd really have to use every muscle, tendon, ligament in my upper body to pull that heavy-duty body upwards so that they wouldnt sink in the middle of the damn bed.
i look at my clock on the side of this computer and it says 2:28PM. this would be about the time i'd have already gotten to the hospital and started rounding up my shit so i can start my day. to anyone out there who works in healthcare, and you are in the nursing field, God bless you. i served an 11-year sentence to wind up taking medications to keep me sane.
would i do it again? HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO. i've had my share of short-staffing, overwork, underpayment and uncooperative co-workers to last me a lifetime.
Bedpan Alley can kiss my entire ass.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
who the hell has a HAPPY fuckin' period????
*sigh.* yep it's just one of them days. "Aunt Flo" decided to pull a "trick" on me and came down on October 31 - Halloween. trick or muthafucking treat. i was beginning to think that maybe i was gonna skip this month, and had got kinda happy at the thought, that 'well old Minniepaws is finally kickin "Aunt Flo" to the curb, and i was gonna be spared 7 days of misery' BUZZZZ!!! wrong answer. wasnt happening. Old "Flo" got me - out of all days to play a cruel trick on a bitch - fuckin HALLOWEEN!!!! and "Flo" has been kickin my ass ever since. on toppa that i had a hot flash from hell yesterday, and ALL THE WINDOWS WERE OPEN, and i was sitting here at this computer fanning, "damn, it's HOT in here! whoo lawd!" my 18 year old daughter looked at me and said, "but Mama, the window is open!" still fanning, i said "shit, child, i know! i'm still fucking HOT!"
and to make matters worse, i saw a commercial on TV for "Always" pads, saying "have a HAPPY period." ARE THESE PEOPLE FUCKIN' NUTS????? what, does said napkin have some kind of "happy" ingredient in it that when you put the muthafucka on, all of a sudden, it's "happy happy joy joy"??? what woman out there has a muthafuckin "HAPPY" period? last time i checked, the monthly visitor did NOT make too many women happy, especially those of us "bleeders" like me who serve a 7-day sentence of cramps, bloat, sugar cravings and mood swings that are off the charts, and btw, i feel for those of y'all ladies who are bipolar-you poor girls are already battling emotional fluctuations...my heart goes out to y'all - Hugs (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((to all bipolar ladies))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))... so what the fuck are they talking about? "happy" period my ass!!!!
in the fuckin 46 years i've been on this planet, not nary period i've ever had made me fuckin HAPPY. the only-and i mean ONLY- time i was "happy" to see this muthafucka was when i was a teenager who was gettin hers on the regular and me and my boyfriend slipped and forgot to use protection, and i had to sweat out a whole week until i went to pee and saw red. that was the ONLY time i was overjoyed to see "Aunt Flo" (this was the '70s, ok? the only fear a girl had back in them days was getting pregnant, and alas, at age 19 when "Aunt Flo" didnt show, and i started barfing all over the place, well i knew then "Aunt Flo" would be on a 9-month hiatus).
then after i had my first child, i was told, "you wont get cramps no more." Ah. another so-called "happy" moment? BULLSHIT! ok i will admit for a while i was skipping periods like a kid playing hopscotch, and it was a nice reprieve from having to hold a hot water bottle to my belly and literally making a necklace out of Bayer Aspirin (or Midol) and licking it at intervals. so yeah i guess that was a "happy" moment. but when it went on too long, instead of leaving things as they are, oh noooooooooooooooooooo, i had to go see my Gyne and tell him "uh, i aint had a period for two months. is that normal?" to which said doc would prescribe Provera tabs to help "bring my period down", thus thrusting me back into monthly misery. i curse myself to this day for bringing that bitch back and enduring her fuckery on my hormones and reproductive system. and just for the fuckin record, havin babies AND gettin my tubes tied DID NOT stop the fucking cramps!
since then, i have not had a "happy" period, PERIOD. and now that "Aunt Flo" has her cousin "Minnie Paws" double-teaming me, with hot flashes and shit, i am not a "happy" camper.
*sigh* you men are sooo damn lucky. however, when your woman starts howling at the moon and making a meal of anything made of chocolate , M&Ms, Hershey bars, Snickers, donuts, cake, be forewarned that is dangerous territory, and she should not be agitated in any way......just pass her the chocolate and nobody will get hurt.....if you fail to heed this warning, i would suggest you check into a hotel for the duration because we, um, kinda tend to be a tad EMOTIONAL and unless you like being clocked upside your head with flying objects - some that even have EXTREMELY SHARP EDGES - you will quietly leave and go to said hotel or any other "safe" haven until it is deemed safe for you to return home......
however, if by chance the hotel clerk is a female who is on the rag, it would be wise to lock your doors and windows and remain quiet. even so much as a sneeze might have you winding up with stitches, a removal of your most precious commodity (um, can you say "Lorena Bobbitt?"), or worse, a call to your next of kin.
so...anybody got chocolate? DAMMIT I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE AND YOU CANT HIDE FROM ME.......... SO GIMME!!!!!!!!
*ahem* and now, you'll 'scuse me while i finish making my necklace of 800mg ibuprofen....
and to make matters worse, i saw a commercial on TV for "Always" pads, saying "have a HAPPY period." ARE THESE PEOPLE FUCKIN' NUTS????? what, does said napkin have some kind of "happy" ingredient in it that when you put the muthafucka on, all of a sudden, it's "happy happy joy joy"??? what woman out there has a muthafuckin "HAPPY" period? last time i checked, the monthly visitor did NOT make too many women happy, especially those of us "bleeders" like me who serve a 7-day sentence of cramps, bloat, sugar cravings and mood swings that are off the charts, and btw, i feel for those of y'all ladies who are bipolar-you poor girls are already battling emotional fluctuations...my heart goes out to y'all - Hugs (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((to all bipolar ladies))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))... so what the fuck are they talking about? "happy" period my ass!!!!
in the fuckin 46 years i've been on this planet, not nary period i've ever had made me fuckin HAPPY. the only-and i mean ONLY- time i was "happy" to see this muthafucka was when i was a teenager who was gettin hers on the regular and me and my boyfriend slipped and forgot to use protection, and i had to sweat out a whole week until i went to pee and saw red. that was the ONLY time i was overjoyed to see "Aunt Flo" (this was the '70s, ok? the only fear a girl had back in them days was getting pregnant, and alas, at age 19 when "Aunt Flo" didnt show, and i started barfing all over the place, well i knew then "Aunt Flo" would be on a 9-month hiatus).
then after i had my first child, i was told, "you wont get cramps no more." Ah. another so-called "happy" moment? BULLSHIT! ok i will admit for a while i was skipping periods like a kid playing hopscotch, and it was a nice reprieve from having to hold a hot water bottle to my belly and literally making a necklace out of Bayer Aspirin (or Midol) and licking it at intervals. so yeah i guess that was a "happy" moment. but when it went on too long, instead of leaving things as they are, oh noooooooooooooooooooo, i had to go see my Gyne and tell him "uh, i aint had a period for two months. is that normal?" to which said doc would prescribe Provera tabs to help "bring my period down", thus thrusting me back into monthly misery. i curse myself to this day for bringing that bitch back and enduring her fuckery on my hormones and reproductive system. and just for the fuckin record, havin babies AND gettin my tubes tied DID NOT stop the fucking cramps!
since then, i have not had a "happy" period, PERIOD. and now that "Aunt Flo" has her cousin "Minnie Paws" double-teaming me, with hot flashes and shit, i am not a "happy" camper.
*sigh* you men are sooo damn lucky. however, when your woman starts howling at the moon and making a meal of anything made of chocolate , M&Ms, Hershey bars, Snickers, donuts, cake, be forewarned that is dangerous territory, and she should not be agitated in any way......just pass her the chocolate and nobody will get hurt.....if you fail to heed this warning, i would suggest you check into a hotel for the duration because we, um, kinda tend to be a tad EMOTIONAL and unless you like being clocked upside your head with flying objects - some that even have EXTREMELY SHARP EDGES - you will quietly leave and go to said hotel or any other "safe" haven until it is deemed safe for you to return home......
however, if by chance the hotel clerk is a female who is on the rag, it would be wise to lock your doors and windows and remain quiet. even so much as a sneeze might have you winding up with stitches, a removal of your most precious commodity (um, can you say "Lorena Bobbitt?"), or worse, a call to your next of kin.
so...anybody got chocolate? DAMMIT I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE AND YOU CANT HIDE FROM ME.......... SO GIMME!!!!!!!!
*ahem* and now, you'll 'scuse me while i finish making my necklace of 800mg ibuprofen....
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