cruisin' along

well i guess i got over my "fuck it" mode for a while. i actually got out of the house (yay for the loony lady!) and went to this church in my neighborhood and racked up a few extra groceries. at the suggestion of my friend V, i called the light and gas companies and asked to be put on their "budget" plan, since i wont be getting a check for my daughter no more...fuck! so my budget is gonna be tighter than dick's hatband next month and i still got rent and bills to pay. i aint gonna have much left after *sigh*, but i gotta do what i gotta do. i went back out in the stifling heat and bought me a couple packs of cheap squares, and then rode the bus up to the Walgreens and bought some precooked fried chicken (yum, the hot'n'spicy kind i like), and bought my daughter a pack of her brand of smokes and got back on the bus (thank God it was air conditioned) and came on back home. i also managed to finally get around to washing the dishes that were piling up and cooked dinner...we're having the chicken (which was microwavable, thank God), some cheesy mashed potatoes, and some fresh corn on the cob. so at least me and my daughter will be eating good for a while. i dont know where i got all this energy from and i aint gonna question it...i give all the credit to the Good Lord. oh yeah, yesterday my friend V cut my hair for me so the sheep's ass is finally gone and i look like a person again *big cheesy grin* :). she wears her hair close cut like i do and she's been cutting it for me since my funds have been tight.

i have an appointment on Friday with my pdoc, and i see my T on the 15th. i guess my mood has improved since i finally closed off all contact with my ex, because i aint gotta hear the drama from her no more. and if y'all are wondering, yes, my gate swings in both directions, ok. end of story.

my friend V bought me a cute little red hat and gave me a shitload of hair gel and some vitamins and also some facial soap. she's bipolar and has borderline personality, but i understand her and aside from a few ppl i know from IM's thru Yahoo and MSN, they're my only friends. i do have some guy friends too, in fact i went to see one of 'em yesterday too. i was once crazy in love with this cat -- for close to 10 years i carried a torch, but it was not to be, so....moving right along. it was good to see him again tho, and he always made me laugh. he and i are the same astro sign Capricorn, only his b-day is a week before mine -- his is December 23 and mine is December 30, so every year we call each other on our respective birthdays and say, well, happy birthday.

then my godson called me last night and told me he was in the hospital recovering from pneumonia. me and Capricorn Brutha are gonna go see him whenever he finishes up doing what he's doing. my godson is gay, but i love him like my own son, and i nearly cried when he told me he had HIV. thankfully, he's already on meds and had been doing fine, until monday when he told me his back was hurting something awful and went to the ER and they admitted him because he had pneumonia. i just worry that his immune system can fight it off in spite of the HIV. i worry about that boy even more and i pray constantly that he will live a long healthy life. with the newer meds that are out for HIV, i feel he will make it...hell, he'll probably live longer than me, cus i am a hopeless nicotine addict.

anyways, so far, i've been cruisin' along at a steady pace. i just hope it stays like this for a while. for now, that's all folks. peace.