my oldest daughter called me this morning with a story that had me laughing my ass off til tears were running down my face. she was telling me about the adventures of her dogs Battle and Scrappy. both of them are pit bulls (my mistake i thought they both were Rottweilers) and both of them are goofy as hell.
she told me that Scrappy ATE HER DEODORANT, ate her boyfriend's WORK SHOE, ate a box of Q-TIPS, some FABRIC SOFTENER SHEETS, and the piece de la resistance? ATE THE DOWNY FABRIC SOFTENER BALL- WITH A SMALL AMOUNT OF DOWNY IN THE BALL!!!!! oh and i almost forgot about this too - Scrappy ate HER SARAN-WRAPPED SANDWICH, INCLUDING THE SARAN-WRAP!!!! she said Saran Wrap was all over the place LMAO
i nearly died laughing. OMFG. when she told me about the deodorant, that did it -- and it was Secret Powder Fresh scent. well, at least when the dog farts, it'll be powder fresh, and the fur on his ass will be soft, fluffy and static-free ROFL! usually when the dogs fart, both my daughter and her boyfriend HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE because the noxious odors of the dog's farts are enough to knock out a WWF wrestler -phew!
and it's not like they dont feed the dogs -- they do. they get the best of dog food - Iams. Battle has destroyed any number of TV remotes, HIS FOOD AND WATER BOWLS, a pair of my daughter's K-Swiss GYM SHOES - STRINGS AND ALL, her boyfriend's wallet, and also 3 PAIRS of his gym shoes too. Scrappy is the new addition to their family, and unlike Battle, who usually doesnt like to eat his food (guess remotes and wallets have a better taste LOL), Scrappy is a greedy lil bugger and will eat his food, Battle's food, and just about anything...as y'all can see LOL. she had me in stitches describing how the dog has nearly eaten everything in their house -- INCLUDING TOILET PAPER ROFLMAO! oh did i mention that Battle drinks the LAUNDRY WATER FROM THE WASHING MACHINE!
so i suppose if my daughter were still in grammar or high school, the excuse "my dog ate my homework" would be the God-honest truth LMAO
altho knowing Battle's and Scrappy's history of devouring damn near everything in their house, not only would the homework get eaten, but the bookbag, pencils and other stuff would get eaten too LOL
that's why i am a cat person lol
6 comments:
LOL and that explains why I'm a PIG person! My daughter has 2 dogs, 1 is like the dogs you described; he even ate batteries & had to go to the emergency cuz he got battery acid in his mouth. They're really no different than having a 2 year old set loose in the house. Well, for her sake, I hope they quit eating everything in sight!
Maybe I should eat some deodorant so my farts are powder fresh..lol
Those poor doggies, I'm surprised they haven't died from eating all those things. I'd hate to be the one to pick up the poop when some of that comes out the other end.
Thanks for the laugh.
Hugs,
Sid
How hysterical! Hope the dogs crap smells nice and fresh for a while... :)
I have a friend who has a dog that likes eating clothing... hahaha... that crazy-ass dog!!!
Ahhhhh! Furry kids! Gotta love 'em, hey. LOL
My furries have had a good day so far too. When I initially woke up this morning, I entered the kitchen only to be greeted with rubbish scattered over the floor. Looks like I forgot to wrap up a particularly inviting, smelly item properly before I popped it into the garbage last night. Oops! A little later, I walked into the lounge room to find my husky desperately trying to salvage the last drops of coffee from a mug. She looked so cute with her nose shoved completely into the cup and cradling the cup in her paws that I didn't have the heart to shoo her away.
Thanks for sharing your daughter's dogs' antics. :)
HEY THERE!!!!!!! I don't know if I can help much, but send me an email with a text file containing a copy of your complete template (just copy and paste it). I think we can get things worked out from there...
TAKE CARE!
ariK
That's a dog for you. I'm a cat person, too. Even though they perversely believe in showing their love by ramming their anus into your face, I much prefer them to dogs.
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