i'm still tired from all the activities from last week. i could sleep all day, but then i would be up all night, so that's not an option. for the most part of the day, i've been blog surfing, posting comments, and tweaking this blog and my other one of erotic stories/poems. i'm not particularly depressed, nor am i jumping up and down and turning cartwheels -- shit, my big ass can barely climb stairs, so cartwheels are completely out of the question.
i dont know what i feel...it's hard to put into words. bored? maybe. tired? definitely. i have used all of my reserved energy last week, so maybe i'm feeling tired because i was on the go nonstop....? i'm not overwhelmed, not suicidal (thank god!), not pissed off at anything/anyone, not "zoning out", so what the hell AM i feeling? i wish i knew. numb maybe? flat? devoid of emotion? worried? no....agitated? no... i have absolutely no clue at all.
i got this invitation to "tea" in the mail from the DuSable Museum set for Saturday, January 14 at 2pm and it's for the museum volunteers. i havent volunteered at the museum since July of last year, mainly because i didnt want to be around a lot of people. yet, back in the second week of July 2005, i was a volunteer at the museum's Arts & Crafts fair, and i had a great time - even bought some silver jewelry, and then in late July, they had this awards show where i was a greeter and i did fine. so why am i waffling about this?
i think i know why; when i used to talk to Ms. Homophobe, she put a huge damper on the enthusiasm i had about the museum, because she didnt like the volunteer manager and was bitching that the museum didnt offer free lunch to their volunteers like the way Mercy Hospital did, and she was pissed at the fact that the volunteers had to have a membership at the museum. i think that literally caused me to not want to go back anymore. i stopped volunteering at Mercy because it was a "trigger" place for me and i knew too many people from when i was a full employee.
now that she and i are no longer friends, my gut is saying to go to the tea and maybe get back into volunteering at the museum again. being that i love Afrocentric culture and art, it was a good fit for me, until i listened to that unstable bitch with her rollercoaster emotions and constant nit-picking that killed my desire to continue volunteering there.
well i am going to RSVP to this invitation and go. thank god i dont have to be bothered no more with her homophobic, unstable ass. i'm going to make myself get back into an area that felt good to my creative spirit. i'm gonna try to "deprogram" that negative shit that bitch installed in my mind and go back to where my spirit and my soul felt at home.
as far as that bitch...her homophobic, hypocritical, judgemental ass can burn for eternity in hell.
5 comments:
Really? Tell us how you really feel MizE! LOL
Genelle, love the new format of the blog. Purple and pink; favorite colors very bright. Take care girlfriend.
I do hope you RSVP'd to the tea thing. You definitely shouldn't let the opinions of someone that doesn't matter to you get in the way of activities you enjoy. It'll do you good to get out there. Maybe even get back into volunteering occasionally too if you're feeling up to it.
Hugs,
Sid
I think that would be wonderful for your mood, and it's something you enjoyed. Hope you RSVP!!
Dan: i have no reason to bite my tongue LOL
Marie: thanks! i've been tweaking the look of this thing and trying not to make it so "dark" anymore.
Sid: i left a message saying that i would come to the tea. and yes, i do think i'm going to go back to volunteering. Hugs to you too!
(((((((((Sid))))))))))
Princess: yeah i think so too. it's time to come out of the cave LOL
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