growing old gracefully....YEAH RIGHT!

growing old gracefully? sheeeeiiiiiittttttt! aint nuttin' graceful about this shit, ok? prime of my life? YEAH RIGHT. mind you, there ARE women who enter their 40s looking good, not nary an ache or pain in their body, and also, they have young studs (like say, hmmm, 19-25) to keep 'em happy. whoop de doo. i've done the "older woman, younger man" thang, and i will NEVER do it again.

i'm 47 years OLD and i feel every bit of it. last night, my right knee started aching something fierce, and when i woke up this mornin-OH LAWD old man "Arthur" done put a death grip on this knee and just to get up from my chair i had to use my cane. (btw, "Arthur" is a nickname for "arthritis")

i guess maybe some cold got in that knee when i went out yesterday - even tho i wear a long, heavy down coat, the winds were pretty high and kinda sharp. i've always had problems with my knees, and yeah being overweight dont help, yeah yeah yeah bla bla bla...however, i have run into a number of women WHO WERE NOT OVERWEIGHT complaining about knee pain. so back up off me, goddam it LOL. i've seen a lot of slender to medium build women hobbling around on canes, in scooter chairs and so on - so it aint just us fat broads ok?

NNNNNNN-eway...back to my knee. when i was working as a CNA (certified nurse assistant), i was always on my feet from the time my shift started at 3pm, sometimes non-stop until 11pm. by the time shift was over, EVERY bone, tendon, joint, ligament, muscle would be screaming in pain--especially my shoulders and knees. a lot of times i barely got a chance to take a piss, let alone sit down and eat lunch - shit, most of the time i had a sandwich in one pocket of my tunic or jacket and my needles, tubes, alcohol swipes, gloves stuffed in a plastic bag in the other pocket. sometimes i'd have a bag of sunflower seeds or chips in my pocket and would munch on them as i scurried about.

i have also fallen on BOTH knees several times...made a misstep while i was walking home and tripped and landed on the hard concrete on both knees; i slipped on some ice one time and landed on BOTH knees; and when i was working at University of Chicago Hospital, i lost my balance and landed on one knee on a hard tile floor that was damp. and yes, there was a sign up that said "caution wet floor" but apparently i didnt see it and since the bottom of my shoes were rubber soled, it didnt take much for me to slip, trip and fall on my left knee. so yeah, these knees have taken a beating over the years, and now that i'm middle-age, the pain is coming back to bite me in the, uh, knees.

well, lemme go and find my bottle of 800mg ibuprofen. at least it will take the pain down to a dull roar. i have NO plans on going anywhere with this pain, except maybe back to my bed. i went out yesterday and cold got in the knee, and then i had to climb 4 flights of concrete stairs in my building, which added insult to injury (literally speaking) and good God, that was painful.

in my future, i see myself with one of those "scooter chairs" cuz these old bones just cant hack it no more. and the next apartment i get, goddam it, it's either gonna be a ground level first floor, or have an elevator. and yeah, y'all can say all day long, "well, you need to lose some of that weight" yeah well, i did once, and still had knee problems, fuckyouverymuch, so it dont fuckin' matter if you are slender, medium build or overweight, KNEE PROBLEMS ARE KNEE PROBLEMS, OKAY??? IT DONT DISCRIMINATE, A'IGHT??? so dont gimme that shit about lose weight. yeah i'mma short, fat old broad who's set in her ways, so get over it and leave me the fuck alone. thankfully i carry my weight well and like "Voices In My Head"said (she has a great blog BTW) which i LOVE this: "i'm like a Rolls Royce -- built for comfort, not speed." Nuff said.

oh and by the way i finally "defunktified" myself too. yes i did. i took a "ho bath" (washing up in the sink, ok? dang, y'all aint never heard that term before?) so now i feel somewhat human. so y'all can put up the HazMat gear,
ok LOL

gotta go...this pain is driving me nuts.....