i'm "officially "pooped!!!

well, as part of the Kwanzaa principle of "Kujichagulia" or "self-determination" to get things done, even though every cell in my body is screaming "whatdafuck are you doing? we aint used to this shit! go sit yo' old ass down!" instead, i woke up this morning and went over to the UPS pickup station which is a very short walking distance, stood patiently in line and picked up my package. i had went online to the UPS site and typed in my package's tracking number and that i would come to the pickup station rather than them doing another delivery attempt. now i am "officially" pooped LOL. plus the weather has been favorable, so that has helped a lot. if it had been a lot of snow and ice on the ground, i probably would have just said "fuck it" and not done anything.

i surprised myself at the energy levels that i have had all this week. ordinarily, i would just let things go and remain hermit-like, because i didnt want to be around a bunch of people, but when there are things that need to be done, well, i made myself do them. and having that planner that Sid gave me, is helping to keep me focused on what i need/have to do. i still have to get my State ID renewed, but in order to get the disabled ID card, i have to have a doctor's statement. so when i see my pdoc on the 24th, i will ask him to write out a statement confirming that i am disabled, and then i will go downtown to the Thompson Center and hope and pray that they will accept it and i can get a disabled State ID - which is free.

i still havent gotten my food stamps, and i've been calling my caseworker practically every day and i keep getting her voice mail. i've been buying groceries in small quantities so at least we can eat, and Dan you know when you're depressed, you either eat a lot or you have no appetite -- so eating has been my "comfort" right now. i have gained weight, but you know what...and i know i'm gonna get "flamed" for saying this, but guess what - i'd rather be plump and stable, than unstable and slim. that's my opinion and i'm stickin to it LOL.

i think i will wait until tomorrow to get my Klonopin script filled; however, once i get it filled in Walgreens' online system, when i need another refill, i can go online and do it. while i'm thinking about that, i better go and refill my blood pressure meds too. i have come to find that doing things online has been a godsend, because to me, it saves time and being that i have terrible arthritis in my hip and knees, i dont have to stand in line and i can pay all my bills without having to worry that somebody might come in the currency exchange to rob us blind. i know there are crooks on the Internet, but most of the sites that i do business with are secure.

anyways, i've babbled enough here. "Law & Order" is on TNT now, and i'm gonna go lie down to watch it. hope everyone has a good weekend.

peace blessings and love to all of you.