"on the last day of Christmas my true love gave to me....a lame ass Chia Pet and a Clapper for the TV...."

i have noticed a pattern here...when it's last-minute gift shopping all of a sudden the "Chia Pets" and "Clappers" start taking over the airwaves on television.

when the very first "Chia Pet" was introduced, it was cool. now? man! they got these lame ass Chia thingys with Chia Tweety (um, birds have FEATHERS, dummy!), Chia Guy (oh yeah there's a winner right there...to me he looks like an old funk musician with a green Jeri-Curl), Chia Sylvester (?), Chia Bugs Bunny (why..why...make 'em stop mommy, please make 'em stop waaaaaaaaa), i think, a Chia "Elmer Fudd" (be vewwy vewwy qwiet) and now we have Chia "Garfield" ad nauseam. just for shits 'n' giggles, how about making a "Chia Fruitcake"....i'm sure if one were to spread the Chia seeds on those indestructable bricks of crap (my apologies to those who actually LIKE fruitcake) , i honestly believe something would actually grow from it *shudders at the thought*

what i think would make this lame thing more interesting is if they added "chronic" seeds (stop playin' y'all know what i mean when i say "chronic") and spreaded that on one of those awful looking things...and i'm sure somebody out there is thinking the exact thing i just said *evil laugh bwahahahahahaha*

now we move on to the "Clapper" *sigh* it seems like it would be a handy gizmo when you dont feel like finding your remote to turn off the TV, or using it to come into a dark house. but what if you get a Clapper that doesnt, um "clap on" once you unlock your darkened home....or if you do happen to get one that ACTUALLY works, you decide to turn the TV off by "clapping off" and when you do, the TV blows out, and all your "clappable" appliances blow out too?

and why do they keep using the same old lady (i swear it's Barbara Bush *shhhhh*) in these commercials?

what if a person who has no hands, but instead they have "bionic"hands, and they receive one of these as a gift...will all the circuitry blow their prostheses off -- or worse, their "bionic" hands start "clapping" out of control?

i have a warped sense of humor, but i'm actually curious about these things.....what about y'all?